Monday, May 30, 2011


You know those friends where it doesn't matter the time of day or if something big has happened, whenever you talk everything just clicks? I feel like I have a shortage of those friends at the moment.

This weekend I hung out w/ a friend I've known since I was 14. We get along great and we have things in common. Spending time together is fun. But it's not really anything more than that. He's a great guy, pretty funny, but I don't think we'll ever hang out and at the end I'll say to myself, "That was awesome. I wish we could hang out every day. All the time. Forever." It will only ever be just fun. We spent a few hours together, easily long enough to get into some good conversation. But it didn't happen. I don't want to call it superficial conversation but I don't think there's another word for it. We know each other enough that even if there was silence it wasn't awkward but something was off. It was almost too chill for me. And that's saying something.

At school, both freshman year and sophomore year, I've had friends, both guys and girls, where the conversation just flows and anything and everything we talk about is interesting, no matter what it is. Being home puts my friend options at a much lower level. I do have a few really good people still around but more and more people stay at school or just go away all summer. Then there are my school friends who are far away to begin with but are even farther away due to study abroads or other vacations, and with a few of my favorites: missions.

I am definitely a communicator when I have the right people around so flow and clicking is a big deal to me. I can talk with anyone but I don't click with everyone. Connecting with people can be very special. Communication is obviously a key to connecting, in any form it takes. When you get to the moment where you can almost see through someone else, you know great things will happen. You crack them open and suddenly you've found a person who understands you completely, or at least tries very hard to. You've found someone who will imagine you complexly.

When did we see each other face-to-face? Not until you saw into the cracks and I saw into yours. -Quentin Jacobsen (Paper Towns by John Green)

That might seem like a weird jump from talking about flow in conversation to some John Green doctrine of imagining people complexly but if you haven't figured it out by now, I abide greatly by the whole stream of consciousness dealio. I can't avoid it. I talk like that. I write like that. I communicate like that. All of which makes it even more exciting when I do find someone with whom I click.

Last YouTube video I watched: Liam's Still Got Legs

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