The 10 unfinished blog posts of 2013

Yes, I have 10 drafts sitting here in the abyss of my blogger account. That's what I have to show for blogging in 2013. The number of unpublished posts says more about me than the number I actually posted, I think.

Some posts got lost in the fray of coming up with new things to write about. And at this point they're just not important anymore.

Some posts aren't time sensitive, meaning they'll be published some day in the hopefully not too distant future.

Some posts were too time sensitive. I didn't finish them within a week of the event happening so they probably won't see the light of day. At this point I don't remember enough details to really do the events justice; I mean, I remember how I felt on those days but it's hard to put those feelings into words. Those things are best left as memories for me alone.

Some posts just became too hard to finish. Even looking back at one now, far-removed from the day I started writing it and the circumstances that provoked it, I wouldn't be able to finish it. And not for lack of words to say what I want to say; I still have those words.

In a sense, I'm glad a number of blog posts were never posted and that I blogged very little about life in the ending months of 2013. It means I was busy living life and not just recording it for people to read online. While I do believe that if life is worth living, it's also worth recording, there are also some moments that just need to be experienced. (Don't worry, the big events were still written down in my personal Moleskine journal)

On New Year's Eve, Stacy, Becca and I went to the beach, sat in the sand, wrote down things we wanted to let go of from 2013 and then burned those pieces of paper. My first two things burned I kept secret; they each burned something secret as well. All the rest we shared with each other out loud. Once it passed midnight, we then burned our hopes/dreams for the new year. They shared all of theirs and all four of mine were shared, and yes, there were only four.

But here's the thing: I won't be sharing any of those four things with anyone again. Those two pieces of paper I burned for myself alone and the four pieces of paper I shared and burned and the words on all of them are for the three of us alone in those minutes after the clock struck midnight. So yes, I'm sharing that overall experience here in this post but the actual experience of burning those hard times and those dreams isn't something to be recorded.

So here's to 2014, a year in which I hope to balance the living and the recording. And maybe I'll have even more unfinished blog posts to look back on.

Somebody, somewhere

(Once again I failed to post on a given day!) This April seems busier than all previous collegiate Aprils. I'm spending more time doing schoolwork, more time with friends and more time preparing to leave for New York.

Sunday was basically like Saturday, though. Becca and I spent our day at the Lava Lounge again, complete with more head-to-shoulder leaning, though this time I took the initiative and stole Ben's shoulder before he could steal mine. Our break between sessions of General Conference was spent at Badger's. He held a nice little barbecue for friends in the neighborhood. It was delicious; he's kind of a master chef.

In the afternoon I caught up on some YouTube and other shows I watch on occasion while working on stuff for my InDesign class. When I got bored with my homework I switched over to designing something for fun. This is what I came up with.

 

I feel pretty proud of myself considering it's the first thing I've ever done just because I wanted to do it. My design class has easily become my favorite class of the semester. It turns out I actually have a really interesting sense of design, one that isn't bad in the slightest.

The rest of the night was spent relaxing watching Doctor Who at Lava Lounge and then Community at Peter's. It's awesome to have new episodes of "Who" to watch at Doctor Who night. There's a pretty big group of us who get together which makes it really fun. It's definitely a show that's more entertaining to watch in a group. And watching Community with Peter was great since we hadn't seen each other in almost 5 days which is a lot considering we live right across the street from each other and have all the same friends. But as always, a 20 minute episode of Community always turns into at least another two hours of talking. It seems quite impossible for us to spend less than two or three hours together whenever we see each other, which is going to make for an interesting couple of months while I'm in New York and he's still in Provo. I predict some long phone calls will be happening.

Microwave or oven?

The other night after getting home from work I was video chatting it up w/ Becca. We were talking about boys and friends and Utah and all that jazz. She brought up an analogy she learned at church regarding how boys and girls fall in love differently. 

Essentially, boys are microwaves because they "heat up fast" and fall in love quickly. They know pretty early on whether or not they are interested in a girl. Girls, on the other hand, are ovens because they take a little longer to get things rolling. It takes a greater amount of time for girls to become interested/fall in love.

And that's the whole analogy. (When she told me that I was waiting for it to be more in-depth but that's all there is, at least at this point. I was slightly underwhelmed.)Becca said she is an oven that never gets fully heated up. And I replied something along the lines of, "Well, yeah, you've gotta preheat to, like, 450. That takes a lot longer than just 325 like most other girls."

So is it true? Are boys microwaves and girls ovens? I'm inclined to say yes. Of course there are exceptions to most every analogy, especially when it comes to dating/love. But I feel like it's a pretty common occurrence for a guy to say "I'm going to marry that girl!" pretty early on in a relationship, and then BOOM. Roasted. They do get married.

In just about 3 weeks I'll be back in the world of crazy love and relationship analogies. Heading back to Utah is always fun. And the fun for me starts bright and early with a 6 am flight, so if any of my Utah friends happen to see me that day, expect some very tired conversation. Luckily, the first person I'll see upon my arrival is Jeffrey and he won't care how tired I am.

Last YouTube video I watched: The Science of Lying

Anna Howard Shaw Day

I figured a holiday like Valentine's Day deserved a post full of my thoughts on this "commercialized" holiday and, of course, on love.

As far as commercialization is concerned, I'm not too worried about it all. It can be annoying how pervasive such a sort of weird holiday is, but I feel like it at least has some merit. Even without a significant other, it's still nice to let friends and family know you care. It's just another excuse to do so.

Now that's out of the way, let's talk about love. What is love? (Baby, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me no more.) Haddaway aside, it's a pretty quality thing, at least from what I've experienced. I've never had a significant other on Valentine's Day, nor has that ever bothered me. I would say this year is the closest I've ever been to having such a person in my life, but I honestly could not care less that I don't. Since I spend all my time in one building on campus, I was hardly around enough people to even realize that today was different than any other day.

But as for love itself . . . People talk about it a lot here at BYU, and at times it is incredibly annoying. Other times it's all in good fun, like the time I went on the record in Lorraine's birthday video saying a year from now she'll be engaged or at least dating the boy she's going to marry. When we talk about our missionary friends, it just gets depressing. But every now and then you have a genuinely interesting conversation about love.

This afternoon I met up w/ my friend Becca and somehow we got on the subject of love languages. (I say "somehow" but I know exactly how we got there.) Everyone communicates love and feelings in different ways and the love languages splits that up into five things: physical touch, acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation and receiving gifts. This kind of stuff is very fascinating to me, along with the whole color personality dealio. Communication is just so cool. And communication in relationships is even cooler. When I just looked at the names of these so-called languages I immediately knew I was a "quality time" person. The older I've gotten the more I've come to realize how much I enjoy spending time with people one-on-one or in small groups. And as I read descriptions of these other love languages it was more and more confirmed to me that I just need to be with someone to be happy with them.

I think some of it stems from the fact that I always make time for other people. I keep my phone with me constantly and hardly ever on silent because I want to be able to help people if they need it. If I say I'll attend something w/ someone, I go. And I'm on time too. So when people make time for me and are with me because they want to be or if I ask them to be around, it's a huge deal. To me it basically translate as, "I could be doing any number of other things, but I'm not. I'm with you instead. Because you're important to me."

There's a fancy little quiz you can take if you're not sure what your love language is too. I am overwhelmingly all about "quality time," but I've known people to be split much more evenly. It really is an interesting topic.

In closing, love is pretty cool. I'm quite fond of it. I'll probably watch The Office tonight to celebrate it . . . or something like that.

Last YouTube video I watched: Yes, haterz, these are real

And if you got the reference in this blog post's title . . . Will you be my Valentine?