Sunday, January 22, 2012

Girl Time: A Thing I Don't Really Like

I am not very fond of "girls' nights." This is not to say I don't enjoy spending time with my female friends but there's something slightly unnerving about a group of girls getting together with the intent of not seeing or talking to any boys and watching a girly movie and talking about how boys are stupid or how boys are wonderful or how boys are confusing. Each of these acts done separately is usually fine; well, except for watching chick flicks. I have a hard time embracing those in any setting. Just putting all of those things together is just not my cup of tea. This might sound hypocritical because, as a girl, I obviously talk about boys often enough, especially attending BYU. I just don't like doing it with lots of other girls around. I can be excited over a plethora of things but rarely do I flip out over boys. I was never an incredibly excitable person and college has just mellowed me out even more when it comes to spending time with boys so when I get around a big group of girls I just don't cope very well.

I'm not trying ostracize my female friends or anything like that. And I'm not trying to demean what it means to be a woman or anything like that. I just don't like spending time with large groups of girls unless we're, like, watching or playing sports together. Or eating cookies and discussing the merits of different types of cookies as far as dunking them in milk is concerned. Or if we're watching Indiana Jones or Harry Potter or something epic.

Since my later high school years and throughout college, I've found myself counting on boys far more often to be my close friends than girls. There is something to be said for having a boy as your best friend. For one thing, there is no worrying that he will repeat what was said to him. (His roommates don't care what's going on in your love life, or lack thereof.) I find them to also be very straightforward. They don't sugarcoat things; at least, my guy friends don't. If I ask them a question honestly, they answer it honestly. It's a beautiful thing. Obviously some girls can also be straightforward but for the most part they're just trying not to hurt your feelings. And because guys are all about fixing problems and finding solutions, I've found that even when I expect them to just listen, they tell me ways to get through things even if I wasn't looking for actual answers. At times this can be frustrating, because sometimes you just need someone to listen, but my friends usually do it in such a way that I am very grateful for their input, even if I wasn't expecting it. Talking with boys is just so . . . nice.

I think we must also acknowledge the wonderfulness that is a hug from these boy friends. I would venture to say the hugs I received from Matthew top any hugs I've received from a potential/real love interest. Well, I suppose they're better in different ways. I might be a little biased on account of how Matt's been gone for almost two years and he's one of the best friends I've ever had but he did give some dang good hugs. People say a picture is worth a thousand words? That might be true but then a good hug has got to be worth at least that much, if not more.

And to share a quick experience over the wonder of what I like call those "boy_friends." They're more than just normal friends but still things are completely platonic and always will be.

I called my one current boy_friend after the event that hasn't ever been named. He came over at 11:30 at night. He was already technically in bed. He almost ignored my call and went to sleep instead. But he didn't. He came to my apartment and talked with me for almost an hour. He listened. He gave advice  in the wonderful way that only he can. It was one of those nights I won't soon forget. The fact that I have a friend who cares enough to come see me at 11:30 at night, an exam night no less, having to walk through the cold, which is a real issue since he's from California, is just really nice.

So the moral of the story is: your guy friends should be your best friends.

Last YouTube video I watched: Chocolate Brownie Recipe - Sorted

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