From perfect to not to perfect again

I spent all summer longing to return to Utah not for the school or because I missed the mountains or because I was sick of Wisconsin (on the contrary, I will never not love being in Wisconsin), but because the people I've met and continue to meet are all amazing. I made plans, both daydreamed and real. I hoped for the best and practiced a lot of patience.

Then I came back to Utah and things were, quite honestly, perfect. Everything worked out better than I had ever imagined. I was living a dream. For about two weeks my life was golden. I never expected to return and feel as if my life was turning into everything I had ever thought I wanted it to be, but that's what happened.

And then it no longer was.

But here's the thing: it wasn't perfect anymore, but things were still incredibly great; things still are incredibly great. I've already learned a lot, both about myself and about life, in the first two weeks of school, though not much of it actually pertains to school itself. The most important things I've learned and continue to learn?

-It's okay and sometimes completely warranted to be brutally honest with people.

-I'm worth more than the amount of time it takes to write out a text message and anyone who thinks otherwise? Well, they can go ask Trent and Jeff what they think of texting when real talking is what's needed. (Here's a little secret: Trent's not cool with it. At all. And Jeff is just full of disappointment.)

-Sleep is not really all that necessary when you're a single college kid.

Wednesday night I didn't get back to my apartment until after 7. I didn't eat dinner until 9. I didn't go to bed until nearly 1:30 when I should have and could have been asleep by 12:30.

Yesterday I woke up less than an hour before my 9:30 class. I didn't get back to my apartment until after 9. I went to bed earlier than I did on Wednesday but probably not by much.

But I wouldn't trade any of that for anything.

It's all in the spirit of being a single college kid. On Sunday I was talking w/ my friend Cameron about relationships and friends and just being single. He vehemently defended his right to be single, even though he's seriously dating someone. It isn't so much single life he loves but more so the carefree nature of being a college student in general. He's got roommates he loves and doesn't have to "schedule" spending time with them, which is something I cherish as well. I'm not opposed to this single collegiate life by any means, but it was just interesting to hear someone else's perspective on a life that is both similar and terribly different than my own. It just so happened that Wednesday and Thursday turned into the kind of days that epitomize my collegiate life.

On Wednesday I was on campus only until 5 since my evening class got out early; it's supposed to end at 6:30. Walking home I ran into a girl from home who just got back from her mission. Since it's been a year and a half we talked for almost an hour.

Then I booked it over to Mckenna's since she was opening her mission call! She's going to the Czech/Slovak mission. It's going to be quite the adventure. I'm excited to add yet another person to my list of people I've written letters to.

By the time I got home from Mckenna's, I had to finish a couple assignments that took way longer than they should have. And suddenly it was 9 and I had not eaten since 10 in the morning. I made a legitimate stir-fry and hunkered down to finish the rest of my homework before Becca's friend Karina came to spend the night. At that point we went to watch a couple episodes of Doctor Who w/ boys from the ward.

Upon our arrival back at our apartment, Becca, Karina and I ended up talking for a good long while before I decided I needed sleep more than social interaction.

And then suddenly it was already time to get up. Even though I still felt like I could sleep for another hour, I started getting ready for the day. It was a chill day for me clothing-wise. I mean, every day is chill clothing-wise but yesterday especially. The day was full of classes and work. On Thursdays I work till close which is not that bad really but just slightly uneventful once 7 passes.

Becca and I then went on a little night run. The plan was to go just over a mile because Becca doesn't run much (read: ever) so off we went. It was a beautiful night for it. (Only 145 more miles to go!) Eventually Becca got really thirsty and we were super close to Jeff's house so the only solution was to stop. I'll use any excuse to see Jeff and his roommates so I was more than happy. Long story short, we ended up staying for over two hours and hypothetically planned around 3 different food runs that never actually happened.

So what was perfect just a few weeks ago completely transformed into a new kind of perfect. It's funny how life works out like that. I still have lots of plans for this semester, both daydreamed and real once again, but they've shifted a bit. Some are the same. Others are completely different. I'm still hoping for the best and my patience is always being used.

Life isn't everything I thought I wanted it to be. I'm pretty sure it's better.

Last YouTube video I watched: Spaghetti Symphony

Kindred feelings and the beauty of a friend

Do you guys ever get the feeling, where for whatever reason, you want one friend and that one friend only with you at that very moment? To me it kind of feels like this: at that time and at that place, only that one person could do anything for you. Only that one person could make me feel better. Only that one person could talk with me and get the real story. Yeah, I really needed my one person this past week.

It's strange how that works. I wish the world knew more about feelings and instincts, and why certain people have the ability to make everything better. To a degree, it's all about security and trust. But why do we trust that person? Why do they make us feel so secure?

One of my favorite quotes comes out of a manual from a religion class I took last fall. I often don't get overtly religious on my blog, on account of how religion is a pretty personal deal to me, but even if you aren't religious, I know you've had the feeling this describes. I know you have. It's from a book called Key to the Science of Theology.

"The gift of the Holy Spirit adapts itself to all [of man's] organs or attributes. It quickens all the intellectual faculties, increases, enlarges, expands and purifies all the natural passions and affections; and adapts them, by the gift of wisdom, to their lawful use. It inspires, develops, cultivates and matures all the fine-toned sympathies, joys, tastes, kindred feelings and affections of our nature. It inspires virtue, kindness, goodness, tenderness, gentleness and charity. It develops beauty of person, form and features. It tends to health, vigor, animation and social feeling. It develops and invigorates all the faculties of the physical and intellectual man. It strengthens, invigorates, and gives tone to the nerves. In short, it is, as it were, marrow to the bone, joy to the heart, light to the eyes, music to the ears, and life to the whole being.

In the presence of such persons, one feels to enjoy the light of their countenances, as the genial rays of a sunbeam. Their very atmosphere diffuses a thrill, a warm glow of pure gladness and sympathy, to the heart and nerves of others who have kindred feelings, or sympathy of spirit."

Yes, it is long, but so very worth it. I've bolded the parts that truly apply. When you read that, can you not help but think of that one person with whom you share kindred feelings? Or maybe there are a few people you've experienced that with. It is undoubtedly someone you love, maybe you are even in love with them. But no matter who it is, they are beautiful to you. And you are beautiful to them. I'm not even talking about beauty in a physical way. I'm talking about in the way that when they speak, it's like they're speaking to you. And even if there are so many other people in the room, it can still be just the two of you. That beauty can be hard to find at first; it's often so very unexpected. But when you find it . . . They become one of the most beautiful and wonderful people in the world.

"You know when sometimes you meet someone so beautiful and then you actually talk to them and five minutes later they're as dull as a brick? Then there's other people and you meet them and you think, "Not bad; they're okay." And then you get to know them and their face sort of becomes them, like their personality is written all over it. And they just turn into something so beautiful."

That, my friends, is a quote from the television show Doctor Who, the most recent episode entitled The Girl Who Waited. (We're not going to talk about the implications of that just yet.) But The Girl, Amy, was talking about her husband, her best friend. Yes, I realize this is a fictional example and that Doctor Who is not real but does that make it any less true? I submit that it does not.

I'm quite proud to say that even before I watched that episode this afternoon, I had already started this post. Strange how it fell perfectly in line with everything I was trying to say, eh?

Doctor Who & being home

I just finished watching the newest episode of Doctor Who and all I can say is, "WHAT THE HECK!" It was crazy in the way that I love crazy things. Matt Smith is quirky in the best way. Every time I watch new episodes I just want to go back and watch from the beginning, meaning from Christopher Eccleston on. I've honestly never watched Classic Who before. Nothing against it, I'm sure it's fantastic but I'm New Who is kind of my thing.

As for BEING HOME . . . My room is awesome. My dad re-did some of it in that he fixed the ceiling which was kind of messed up, moved my bed and dresser and mirror thing, put up new bookshelves which I desperately needed and I got a new bed frame! So fancy that. We're going to paint the shelves some time this week. They're either going to be green or I might splatter paint them for funsies. I even found a bunch of old posters in my room I didn't know we still had! They're from when my brother and I were quite young, old school Green Bay Packers stuff. I've already put my Reggie White poster on the wall behind my bed, just like it was when I was around 6. I probably won't put up my photo wall this summer but having these posters up will make my room feel more like me.

I'm in the process of unpacking, something I strangely enjoy. I like packing to go somewhere, like school. I like unpacking when I get there. I hate packing to come home. Yet I like unpacking once I'm there. It's a strange cycle.

And since my friend Becca is counting the number of times she's mentioned in my blog . . . BECCA BECCA BECCA BECCA BECCA BECCA. She just jumped out of an airplane yesterday, so that's quite exciting.

Last YouTube video I watched: Doctor What