Re-commitment

Now that I have been home from New York for a few days, I've started my life over in some ways. I've explained it to people recently as getting back to my "real life" but really it is starting over. I decided to recommit myself to living a certain way. And it's not that I was living a bad life or that I was unhappy. On the contrary, the two months I spent in New York were quite happy and fulfilling and though last semester was full of tough classes and the like, generally speaking I was still doing pretty well.

But it was time for a change and I'm completely stoked about it.

For one thing, I'm abiding by my Four-Fold Mission more than I ever have before. For those who haven't heard me spout off these four points before, I'll give them to you now:

1) Happiness is a choice.
2) Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing.
3) The secrets of life are hidden behind the word cliche.
4) Don't forget to be awesome.

Very recently, Eli McCann, who writes the It Just Gets Stranger blog, had this to say of choices and happiness:

 "There is so much more joy in this life to be had if we decide to be happy rather than let our happiness depend upon the decisions of other people." 

So after reading that I was 100% certain that Eli is a total genius. (His blog has become one of my absolute favorite reads because of both his incredible sense of humor and knack for profundity.)

Beyond my re-commitment to those four points, I'm also taking on a new fitness regimen. Phrasing it like that sounds totally pretentious so let's just say I'll be working out a lot more. And by "a lot more" I mean every day but Sunday. This is where the second point of my four-fold mission really comes in. It's not painful to be who I am right now but changing physically is something I really want to do. I've written countless times about ShayCarl and his weight loss and how he's made an incredible life for himself. It's not that Shay wasn't happy before but once he really started losing weight, the change in his attitude toward life was astounding. I can run a couple miles and be fine but I'm capable of more than that. I know I am. I have little to no upper body strength. But I know I'm capable of more than that.

On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I'm running. Just two days ago I started the Couch-to-5K running plan. Like I said already, I can run two miles, but I figure I might as well give myself a strict schedule to follow to work up to something more. On Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays I'm doing push-ups. Remember the time I started working toward doing 100 push-ups consecutively? I'm starting that plan again and this time I'll finish it. Last night I was talking to my friend Trent (of the Egg) about all this stuff I'm doing with my life and he brought up a good point about strength. He said it's not so important that I'm physically strong but that I feel strong. He's totally right. What I love about taking control of my life in this way is that I get to be both physically strong and, I guess, mentally strong.

The second to last thing I'm focusing on is cooking. This isn't really a thing I'm committing to again but rather something I'm just going to do again since I didn't get to cook at all in New York. Tonight I'll probably make a master list of ingredients I need to buy so I can start cooking all the Sorted Food recipes I put in a playlist.

And the final thing I'm working on is reading a bunch of typography and graphic design books. This is another thing that isn't a re-commitment but rather just a thing I can finally do now that I have the whole library at my disposal once again. I've already checked out four books on the aforementioned topics and read parts of two of them. It's the most interesting summer reading I've done in a long time. Typography is the coolest subject ever. I already love words so I figure it's a good idea to understand why people choose to make them look like they do.

Living life like I am now is very empowering, more so than I thought it would be. It's gearing up to be an absolutely fantastic summer. The weekends will be full of boating, camping, frisbee, reading, cooking, eating, movie-going and all sorts of other good stuff. Every night I've been back has been spent with my amazing friends and I know the rest of my summer nights will be just the same. From the first night I was back and Ben coming over at midnight to last night doing Taco Tuesday and seeing Monsters University with Badger & others, it's been wonderful. Tonight I'm supposed to see Phillip (also of the Egg) and get ice cream with Ben, and then tomorrow I'm getting dinner w/ Trent. Reuniting with all my friends makes me feel so alive.

Zelda & slacklining

My last few weekends have been super quality, all worth blogging about. (At least to me they're worth blogging about.) Let it be known that this post was started around the first week of March, meaning all of this information is now WAY OLD. I'm finally posting a lot of things that I started writing but never finished.

Friday

All my Friday classes were cancelled and the only thing I had to do was stop by the newsroom at 10 to lay out some pages for the paper. It took me all of 30 minutes and I enjoyed doing it as well. Then I worked on my publication graphics feature page project. I'm really proud of it so far. I've come to really enjoy working with InDesign and apparently I'm not as terrible at designing things as I once thought. (This is what my feature page ended up looking like though at the time of this writing it looked NOTHING like this.)

Since it was fairly warm out, especially for February, I decided to go for a run that afternoon. I got only a few blocks before my contact lens in my right eye got all fuzzy so I took it out and walked home. Luckily, I have this awesome app on my phone called the Nike Training Club. They have 30 and 45 minute workouts based on all different things, whether that be strength training, cardio or anything else you might want to do. The majority of them don't require equipment either. I did a 30 minute cardio workout in the comfort of my own home.

After showering and eating a quick, though late, lunch, it was time to watch Community with Peter. After that was over, he and I ended up, as usual, spending the whole night together. Any time we spend together is usually punctuated by the arrivals and departures of his roommates Kirk and Kyle. I've hardly seen the two of them this semester so it was really nice to hang out with the three of them. Kirk even decided to be domestic that night and made this apple pie type dessert, except for the crust he used dough for dinner rolls. It turned out spectacular.

What really took up most of our time was playing the N64 version of Zelda on Peter's computer. I'm not sure what it is about me but I have no problem watching other people play video games. It was most interesting because Kyle basically has the game memorized and would occasionally drop hints to Peter about what to do but he would never give him the entire answer of where to go/what to do; it's frustrating for Peter but great entertainment for the rest of us. By the end of the night, Kyle and Peter insisted I learn to play the game on account of how I never played it as a child. And so Peter started my own quest. I'm not terrible at video games but I'm pretty close. As entertaining as it was for Peter to play the game himself, I definitely think he had a lot more fun watching me struggle through the first two levels. Around 1 o'clock I finally called it quits.

Saturday

In the morning I did Peter a favor and kept score at his intramural basketball game. I'd never seen him play before so I enjoyed myself a lot. Peter loves basketball more than anything else in life so to see him actually doing what he constantly talks about was awesome. He's kind of really legitimately good at basketball as well.

I worked out again on Saturday and spent the rest of the day studying.

That evening a bunch of people went to this ice skating show that Lorraine was in. Mostly we went because there was free skating after it was over! Only Ben and I ended up skating but it was still quite fun. Since we were skating on the non-public rink, there was hardly anyone there and we could goof off a little more without worrying about bumping into people.

After skating Ben and I met up with our friends again and decided to go slacklining on campus. That was perhaps one of the best Saturday night activities I've ever been a part of. I've always been pretty terrible at slacklining but I actually made it all the way across that night.

After an hour of that we watched "Skyfall" at the Lava Lounge. I'd seen it before, back when it first came out in November, but was still hoping to enjoy it a second time; but alas, I fell asleep, something that hardly ever happens to me during movies. Luckily Ben was there to let me borrow his shoulder. You know you've got a good life when your friends let you fall asleep on them like that.

Thoughts on running & senior year

As I went for a 3 mile run this afternoon I kept coming back to the same thought: no one knows how far I've gone or how much I have left. All they know is I'm running. Running outside makes people self-conscious sometimes, me included. It's not like everyone or even anyone out and about is paying attention to the runners. No one else cares that I walked for a while. No one else cares that I'm breathing hard after only a short distance. For all they know I'm on mile 10 or 15 of my run.

I've yet to genuinely enjoy running but today I think I almost got to that point. Last night as I was walking home from a birthday party (more on that later) I stopped and talked w/ one of my new friends. We've lived across the street from each other since last fall but probably only talked twice in a year's time. In the last week or so we've been getting to know each other quite a bit. So this kid, Kyle, was just walking around and cooling off after his night run. He and I have talked about running a few times since he knows I'm doing 150 miles in this semester. He described his night run as basically something he needed to do, not because he's necessarily trying to be fit or healthy, though both those things are advantages of running, but because it just feels nice to go for a run at night. I really am trying to get to the point where running is just a thing I do because it's, well, nice.

Kyle and I talked about a lot of other things besides running too, things like peanut butter, dinner parties we're going to have and stealing apples.

So as far as senior year is concerned, these first three weeks of school have been fantastic. I'm getting all my homework done and I'm not overwhelmed whatsoever; I'm having fun in my classes, whether that be learning how to do HTML or talking about writing; I'm hanging out with all sorts of awesome people nearly every night and making plans for crazy trips; I'm enjoying my job.

Take last night for example: I got done with class at 6:30. I then went to a pizza party with tons of homemade thin crust pizza. After that I did some homework until a boy came over to say we were bringing the birthday cake Becca had made to Ryan, whose birthday it was, on campus since he had tons of homework to do. There were ten of us that got into two cars and drove to campus. We subsequently walked around, like, three or four floors of this building where Ryan was supposed to be. Turns out he actually went home and we just missed him, though he had no idea we had a cake for him. So back to the Lava Lounge we went to surprise Ryan with his cake. We sang, we danced, we ate cake, we laughed, we hugged.

Besides the cake-eating, the singing, dancing, laughing and hugging have happened nearly every night since last Friday, possibly even the Friday before that. And those things won't stop anytime soon either. Tomorrow night we're going on a little camping trip, though a very unorthodox one I'll be sure to blog about. And then in October there's a little trip to Boise planned, a trip I'm not totally sold on yet but the Lava Lounge kids are working pretty hard to convince me to go along. I said in my last post that life was perfect just in ways I never expected and that seems to be truer every day.

All in all, Shaytember is going fantastically. I haven't missed a day of writing 10 things that made me happy, I've run 3 miles once and, well, the making a video every week has been pretty lame. I've filmed stuff and it's partially edited, I just need to finish . . . Oh, and my fourth goal, the secret one, is my favorite of them all thus far.

Basically, being a senior is quality.

Last YouTube video I watched: Birthday Party Battle Plan

From perfect to not to perfect again

I spent all summer longing to return to Utah not for the school or because I missed the mountains or because I was sick of Wisconsin (on the contrary, I will never not love being in Wisconsin), but because the people I've met and continue to meet are all amazing. I made plans, both daydreamed and real. I hoped for the best and practiced a lot of patience.

Then I came back to Utah and things were, quite honestly, perfect. Everything worked out better than I had ever imagined. I was living a dream. For about two weeks my life was golden. I never expected to return and feel as if my life was turning into everything I had ever thought I wanted it to be, but that's what happened.

And then it no longer was.

But here's the thing: it wasn't perfect anymore, but things were still incredibly great; things still are incredibly great. I've already learned a lot, both about myself and about life, in the first two weeks of school, though not much of it actually pertains to school itself. The most important things I've learned and continue to learn?

-It's okay and sometimes completely warranted to be brutally honest with people.

-I'm worth more than the amount of time it takes to write out a text message and anyone who thinks otherwise? Well, they can go ask Trent and Jeff what they think of texting when real talking is what's needed. (Here's a little secret: Trent's not cool with it. At all. And Jeff is just full of disappointment.)

-Sleep is not really all that necessary when you're a single college kid.

Wednesday night I didn't get back to my apartment until after 7. I didn't eat dinner until 9. I didn't go to bed until nearly 1:30 when I should have and could have been asleep by 12:30.

Yesterday I woke up less than an hour before my 9:30 class. I didn't get back to my apartment until after 9. I went to bed earlier than I did on Wednesday but probably not by much.

But I wouldn't trade any of that for anything.

It's all in the spirit of being a single college kid. On Sunday I was talking w/ my friend Cameron about relationships and friends and just being single. He vehemently defended his right to be single, even though he's seriously dating someone. It isn't so much single life he loves but more so the carefree nature of being a college student in general. He's got roommates he loves and doesn't have to "schedule" spending time with them, which is something I cherish as well. I'm not opposed to this single collegiate life by any means, but it was just interesting to hear someone else's perspective on a life that is both similar and terribly different than my own. It just so happened that Wednesday and Thursday turned into the kind of days that epitomize my collegiate life.

On Wednesday I was on campus only until 5 since my evening class got out early; it's supposed to end at 6:30. Walking home I ran into a girl from home who just got back from her mission. Since it's been a year and a half we talked for almost an hour.

Then I booked it over to Mckenna's since she was opening her mission call! She's going to the Czech/Slovak mission. It's going to be quite the adventure. I'm excited to add yet another person to my list of people I've written letters to.

By the time I got home from Mckenna's, I had to finish a couple assignments that took way longer than they should have. And suddenly it was 9 and I had not eaten since 10 in the morning. I made a legitimate stir-fry and hunkered down to finish the rest of my homework before Becca's friend Karina came to spend the night. At that point we went to watch a couple episodes of Doctor Who w/ boys from the ward.

Upon our arrival back at our apartment, Becca, Karina and I ended up talking for a good long while before I decided I needed sleep more than social interaction.

And then suddenly it was already time to get up. Even though I still felt like I could sleep for another hour, I started getting ready for the day. It was a chill day for me clothing-wise. I mean, every day is chill clothing-wise but yesterday especially. The day was full of classes and work. On Thursdays I work till close which is not that bad really but just slightly uneventful once 7 passes.

Becca and I then went on a little night run. The plan was to go just over a mile because Becca doesn't run much (read: ever) so off we went. It was a beautiful night for it. (Only 145 more miles to go!) Eventually Becca got really thirsty and we were super close to Jeff's house so the only solution was to stop. I'll use any excuse to see Jeff and his roommates so I was more than happy. Long story short, we ended up staying for over two hours and hypothetically planned around 3 different food runs that never actually happened.

So what was perfect just a few weeks ago completely transformed into a new kind of perfect. It's funny how life works out like that. I still have lots of plans for this semester, both daydreamed and real once again, but they've shifted a bit. Some are the same. Others are completely different. I'm still hoping for the best and my patience is always being used.

Life isn't everything I thought I wanted it to be. I'm pretty sure it's better.

Last YouTube video I watched: Spaghetti Symphony

Shaytember goals!

Remember how I said I was going to take a break from blogging? Here's a little secret: I lie.

The reason I'm here blogging (for the second time today) is because I've yet to record my 3 goals for Shaytember. What is this Shaytember you ask? Watch this video and you'll know all about it. So here are my three goals for the month of September:

1) I will run at least three 5ks, whether that be three actual races or just running on my own the necessary distance. I need amp up my mileage per run if I ever plan on getting to 150 by the end of the semester.

2) I will film one video a week, not only for the month of September but hopefully for the rest of the semester.

3) I will write down 10 things each day that made me happy.

I also have a fourth goal but that one depends on other people, well, really just one other person, so I'm going to keep it to myself. If I succeed, I'll make sure you all hear about it.

What a great month September will be!

I'm still compiling music for my fall playlist as well. This morning I stumbled upon a gem in my iTunes library. I have no idea where the song came from and I had never listened to it before. My songs are on shuffle 99.9% of the time and this morning was no exception. This song came on. It just . . . feels beautiful. Songs often sound beautiful but to feel beautiful? That's rare.

Goals & motivation (I need a little of both)

There's the biggest goal of the semester: 150 miles in 16 weeks. I made a little chart where I can fill in the miles. It's fun to color in little boxes, right? I'm counting on that to motivate me, as well as, of course, ShayCarl. (He seems to be at the root of so many of my goals.)

So basically he's made me believe I can run 150 miles in 16 weeks. Lorraine has too. (Stay tuned for a semester full of running 5ks and probably a half marathon, all thanks to here.) I titled my playlist for this semester "Shaytember/fall 2012" because the songs on it really need to motivate me, in more ways than just running too. This semester, the first of what is technically my senior year, I'm balancing a lot of things: 14 credits spread out between 5 classes; a job in the library I've already come to love; wonderful & hilarious roommates; plenty of loyal & caring friends; going to as many sporting events as posssible; time w/ Jordan split between studying, playing music, watching sports & just enjoying each other's company in general; the desire to make delicious food . . . The list goes on.

Here's to hoping it all turns out okay.

Not too shabby

Last YouTube video I watched: Evolution of Music Live

2 miles down, 148 more to go

Though the semester technically hasn't started yet I'm already counting my miles for my goal of 150 in the semester. I know I'm going to need all the help I can get.

Today was the first day I ran in probably three weeks. It was pretty quality, nothing too terrible. If it had been even one or two degrees cooler it probably would've been perfect. This afternoon when I went I think it was maybe 78 or 79 degrees, which is actually incredibly beautiful/cool for Utah in August.

It's crazy to think that I'll be running 150 miles by December. I'm feeling a little crazy for making this goal. Carson came over earlier this evening and were talking about working out and sports and such. I told him about the running thing and he said, "Why would you ever do that to yourself? I'm so, so sorry." He's definitely a keeper as far as supportive friends are concerned, can't you tell?

Last YouTube video I watched: Imagine Dragons "Destination"

Running in Wisconsin

It's a heck of a lot easier than running in Utah. I've found that out very quickly. So far I've gone twice, both times around 2 miles. Running 2 miles in Utah, at least for me, kind of sucked. It definitely helps that everything here is green and just beautiful.

There are, however, a lot of hills within a 2 and 3 mile radius of my house it seems. I forgot about that in the time I was gone. Well, that's not true. I definitely remember them because I always thought about them when I went longboarding. I think my biggest issue with them is the fact that I never ran them before. The area around where I live really isn't that hilly, though. Yes, there are mountains literally right there but I don't run by them. There are big hills in Provo but my running routes don't go near them; I don't run nearly far enough to deal with them. (Yet.) Yeah, the Midwest is generally pretty flat, but not all of it. There are hills galore, at least where I live.

But the running itself is as good as it gets for me. Lorraine uses running to problem solve. It's crazy the stuff she can figure out while running; a lot of the time it's complex math equations and computer programming and fancy math stuff in general. She's basically a running mathematic genius. Anyway, that's not how things work for me. I shut my mind off playing sports. I do enough thinking in the rest of my life. Running still doesn't quite let me do that. Maybe someday it will but I'm not counting on it anytime soon.

So the point of this: running in Wisconsin is great. I love being around trees and greenery, in familiar neighborhoods and running past the houses of people I know. It's nice. Well, the running itself isn't all that nice but what I experience while doing the terrible act of running is. If that makes sense.

Last YouTube video I watched: Learn Me Right - Mumford & Sons with Birdy

Final day of classes

It's been a very chill day as far as classes are concerned. I only have two on Wednesdays but they're spread apart. I have a history class at 12 and then my next class isn't until 4. All in all I've mostly been watching videos on YouTube and getting things ready for reading days.

I only have two actual exams and then one paper due after. The exams are both scheduled, one on Monday and one on Tuesday, which makes things pretty easy. I'll technically get to start my break days before winter semester is actually over. I don't know what I'm going to do w/ the days before spring semester. I need to buy a helmet for longboarding, so that'll probably take up a lot of my time. Lorraine and I also have a little shopping trip planned. I'm in need of new shorts; basically all but one pair of mine are now too big. It's both inconvenient and kind of awesome.

I'm about to take my third final actually, but it's in class which makes things quite nice. I'm hoping to get done before five and hopefully before it rains, because it sure is cloudy outside, so I can go for a run this evening before it gets legitimately dark. My legs are pretty sore today, but I mostly feel it when walking down stairs. I thought yesterday was a perfect temperature for running. Today seems even better. I figure I need to get in all the running I can while the weather isn't terribly hot and exhausting, especially because I like running in the afternoons when it is definitely hotter than in the morning. I could solve these problems by exercising inside, like in a gym or whatnot, but that's not a thing I enjoy doing. I love being outside and enjoying nature. It sounds funny but being outside is just so much better. Hopefully in spring I get to play soccer again because I have not done so all semester. Then I won't have to run as much either. While I do run for the sake of running, it's still not even close to my favorite thing. My friend Trent goes rock climbing a lot and hopefully I'll get to do that with him during spring semester.

There's not much else to report at this point. Exam time never really gives many exciting stories because I really do just spend my time studying and reading and in the library. This semester will prove no different. And just like every other semester, I will study with The Office playing in the background. Well, now that I think about it I realize freshman year gave some fun times during exam week, but those were special circumstances. 

Last YouTube video I watched:

I ran 1.8 miles today

And now I'm eating pomegranate greek yogurt. (When you're describing this type of yogurt are you supposed to capitalize it to be Greek? I have no idea.)

Buying Greek yogurt has become a small pleasure of mine. For a 6 oz. container it's around $1.25 but I can no longer help myself. It's terribly delicious, especially the pineapple one. It usually doesn't last more than a day or two in the refrigerator before I insist on eating it, which makes the rest of the week before I go shopping really depressing.

Back to my running now: It felt, well, awesome. I didn't necessarily enjoy it, but I liked it. I think I'm getting to the point of enjoyment. Maybe. I used to always listen to music when I ran; I have a bunch of running/action playlists on my iPod. Lately I've taken to listening to podcasts, specifically WTKGTS. I literally laughed out loud a few times, even though I'd already listened to the particular episode at least twice before. Shay and Colette always make me laugh.

The reasons I went running are as follows:

1. I needed to. I haven't played racquetball in a week or so now and I haven't done much other legitimate exercise either. Walking all around campus can sometimes be exercise enough. 
2. I had not gone running in . . . a while. I don't know exactly how long it has been but it's been long enough to justify going again.
3. The weather was perfect. It's just warm enough out that you feel like you're working out but you don't get overheated or too cold.
4. I didn't have much else to do. Tomorrow is the last official day of classes and I literally have all night to do everything else I need to do, which is not much. I'm going to start studying for an exam the moment I finish this post.
5. I needed to in another sense. Go read this post and that'll kind of explain why. Listening to the podcasts allows me to shut my brain off like I do when playing other sports and I needed to replace some of the hurt or emotion or whatever with the pain of running. It worked. (And don't worry, the emotions I talked about then are different from the emotions now. I'm over that whole situation from December.) 

So there you have it. If the weather is nice, go out and enjoy it. If it's not, still get out of your apartment and do something fun, especially before you get bogged down with end the of the semester school work. You won't regret it.

Last YouTube video I watched: Make It Count

The first time I ever liked running

So this afternoon I decided to go for a run. This is pretty uncharacteristic of me because as much as I want to like running, I never do. I never really want to go. The times I have gone, it's kind of like I'm forcing myself to want to like it. 

Except this afternoon was different.

I decided I wanted to run, despite the fact that it was below 30 degrees, despite the fact that I hadn't been running to just run literally in months, despite the fact that I don't like running at all. But I did it. There was no procrastination involved. There were no thoughts of, "You know, I've got other things to do instead." I decided to run and within 10 minutes I was changed and out the door.

For some reason, this run was helpful. Obviously running is healthy for you, but I don't mean helpful in that way. Whenever I've gone running in the past, I wanted my mind to be clear and I never wanted to think about anything, but I could never seem to turn off my mind. That's what I always love about playing sports: my mind always turned itself off and I was just playing a sport and relaxing. With running that was never the case and it bothered me. I always asked myself, "Why can't I just stop thinking?" 

And today I did stop thinking. All the pain and worry I'd been feeling in the past few days were no where to be found. The need to breathe was all that I felt. Breathing so deeply and just running was suddenly wonderful. Well, maybe not wonderful, but it was strangely nice. The best way to explain it is that the pain of running replaced the pain of everything else. I didn't care how frustrating the whole "situation that shall not be explained" is or how frustrating it is to not have the privilege of just talking to talk. I legitimately like the fact that running hurt.

Remember how in my post from earlier today I decided that now was the time to be happy? The hurt of running made me happy. How weird is that? 

Last YouTube video I watched: LOST in 3 minutes (After watching this again, more than a year after seeing it the first time, I think I've been inspired to watch a bunch of LOST over Christmas break.)