Last weekend before SENIOR YEAR

Saturday morning I went running, which brought me down to 146 miles to go. The rest of the day was spent bumming around. I felt it important to enjoy my last totally free Saturday by being totally free of commitments. Becca arrived Saturday evening which made the whole apartment just so fantastic. Finally the four of us were in the same place!

The night was spent at a dance party full of hipsters. I loved it. The music was quite good and definitely appealed to my hipster side. I literally knew one song they played the entire time I was there, which was almost 2 hours. (The song was Midnight City by M83, a song I only know because of Grant and Trent.) It was a weekend full of freshman ward reunions as Lorraine and I attended this dance party with Will, Braden, Erick, and Wade. It was so quality.

Sunday was even more wonderful. We went to church but Lorraine and I cut out a little early so we could go to my freshman roommate Sara's mission farewell. Riding along w/ us was Wade and Erick., so I saw those crazy kids two days in a row. She did a wonderful job, speaking along w/ her younger brother who will be on his mission at the same time. I was lucky enough to get a bunch of Sara's glances and smiles as she spoke in church. I was one of very few people she directly made eye contact with while speaking. My relationship w/ SJ really is something special.

After church, we went to Sara's house for some early dinner. It was essentially Cafe Rio. Sara's dad is an incredible cook and did not disappoint. So the five of us (Lorraine, me, Wade, Erick and Sara) spent the rest of the afternoon sitting around her front yard, reminiscing, joking, making plans, discussing our futures and just being all-around great friends. It was as if you had transplanted us back to freshman year, except now we're all two years wiser. Sort of.

We finally tore ourselves away from SJ's presence to return to Provo. Lorraine and I met up w/ our other roommates and went to a barbecue some of the guys in our ward organized. We met a bunch of new people who moved in on the block and just played some games. We stayed at their house for well over 2 hours, at which point we met up w/ a bunch of other people for a little bonfire.

I cut out of that early and visited my friend Emily instead. Emily used to live across the hall but moved to the apartment complex right next door to mine, so we're still kind of neighbors. I helped her make cookies, along w/ her boyfriend and a group of their friends. It was great to catch up with her and, as always, swap stories of the past few weeks. Eventually Jordan called so we could hang out one last time before school took over our lives. (This is only partially true. We'll be seeing each other all the dang time.) He and I enjoyed each other's company for 2 or so hours until I essentially kicked him out so I could go to bed at a relatively decent hour; I worked this morning at 8.

Basically, a totally quality weekend, easily the best weekend I've had in a long, long time. As far as school is concerned, it was a great first day. I got into the history class I really wanted, I only had 2 classes, and my feature writing class is full of all my favorite journalism people. It's going to be a wonderful semester.

Last YouTube video I watched: Is College Worth It?

Goals & motivation (I need a little of both)

There's the biggest goal of the semester: 150 miles in 16 weeks. I made a little chart where I can fill in the miles. It's fun to color in little boxes, right? I'm counting on that to motivate me, as well as, of course, ShayCarl. (He seems to be at the root of so many of my goals.)

So basically he's made me believe I can run 150 miles in 16 weeks. Lorraine has too. (Stay tuned for a semester full of running 5ks and probably a half marathon, all thanks to here.) I titled my playlist for this semester "Shaytember/fall 2012" because the songs on it really need to motivate me, in more ways than just running too. This semester, the first of what is technically my senior year, I'm balancing a lot of things: 14 credits spread out between 5 classes; a job in the library I've already come to love; wonderful & hilarious roommates; plenty of loyal & caring friends; going to as many sporting events as posssible; time w/ Jordan split between studying, playing music, watching sports & just enjoying each other's company in general; the desire to make delicious food . . . The list goes on.

Here's to hoping it all turns out okay.

Not too shabby

Last YouTube video I watched: Evolution of Music Live

Better than okay

Margaret is perhaps the most profound person I currently know. We've seen each other only a few brief times this summer but we're only a phone call or text away from at least pretending to be in the same place. Yesterday night we were talking about recent events in both our lives. After sharing a story of my own she smartly replied, "I can neither confirm nor deny that any of it happened, but I can pretty confidently say that this is real life." It was meant as a funny thing, a reassuring thing, but it was the most wonderful sentence to hear last night.

being together means home

Today at church I heard some other profound things from friends. In the hallway as I was getting ready to walk home w/ my roommate Stacy I ran into Trent, Phillip and Grant, also known as The Egg and the boys of the house formerly known as Fiery Passion. I had only seen Grant thus far since June. Seeing Trent felt like coming home. He represents so much of what made winter semester and spring term the best they could be. Just talking w/ him for a few moments was so familiar and relaxing; I only talked to him once or twice over the course of the summer but falling back into what makes us us took a matter of seconds. I gave him updates on life and had the special pleasure of sharing with him that everything I had worried about in winter and spring was completely fixed. He just smiled at me and laughed a little bit, saying, "Didn't I tell you everything was going to be okay?" Those words individually are not profound or complicated. They're about as basic as you can get, but strung together in that question they mean so much.

we keep each other in line

As positive as you try to remain, it's hard to see things in a larger perspective. Back in May, August seemed terribly far away. The fact that I had to make it until August for things to start working out came across as ridiculously difficult. So no matter how many times Trent and Phillip and Grant told me that I would figure things out, I was still unsure. Often enough, "unsure" is a synonym for life itself; though I know they forgive me for questioning their wisdom at times.

making life better than okay

Currently, life is, for lack of a better word, awesome. My roommates are all hilarious and kind. The boys from freshman year are all back from their missions. Jordan and I talk every day. I have a new job on campus. Soon enough everyone will be back from summer vacations and such. I'm not just surviving life or getting by; I'm enjoying and savoring it.

Last YouTube video I watched: John and Rainn Wilson Talk Romance

I have but few words, so here's a list instead

So as you'll remember, Tuesday I was too tired to blog so I had Jordan do it for me. That was a great decision.

He wrote about a perfect summer day. I'm trying to come up w/ something to rival that but it just doesn't exist right now. I'm not sure if yesterday was perfect but it was quite brilliant as far as Wednesdays are concerned. I have no complaints regarding yesterday, but it's not a day that's easily described. 

It's best to call it awesome and leave it at that. It really was awesome for a lot of reasons too. So have a list of why yesterday was awesome. (This reminds me of when 5AG was still completely a thing. I miss those days.)

• At Ikea, Jordan and I found the perfect couch.
• Visiting Ikea in general. (The Swedes know what they're doing when it comes to interior design, that's for sure.)
• I had a grilled cheese panini w/ pesto as part of my dinner. 
• Stacy shared her mango with me.
• We, as in Stacy and I, saw The Hunger Games at the dollar theatre and it was as epic as ever.
• Becca told me she's starting to make her unique brooch bouquet for her wedding. Let's not forget that Becca IS NOT GETTING MARRIED. At least not anytime soon. Like, at all.

I mean, any day that includes Ikea is automatically wonderful so all the other stuff is just bonus niceness.

Enjoy the rest of your summer, my friends. School fast approaches.

Last YouTube video I watched: 1st Day of School Outfits

A guest post

Along w/ my new header pictures, here's something else new: today's post is brought to you by Jordan. He was kind enough to write something for me because I really did not want to, and someone's got to keep blogging here every day, even if it's not technically me. I gave him free reign to write about whatever he saw fit. I will conduct no censorship of his writing. (Unless it's really and truly terrible. At the time of writing this introduction I haven't even read it yet. I'm sure it will be marvelous, though.) So here it is:


Summer is a vague subject in my brain.  What makes a summer day so great?  What separates a summer day from a hot, sticky August day? Is it the freedom of doing exactly what you want to do? Is it spontaneity? Is it sacrificing boredom for the feeling of freedom, no matter how brief it may feel? Summer is the freedom to do exactly what you want to do in the moment you want to do it. For Example:

I will describe the adventure that occurred on today's perfect summer day.  Gathering friends together to celebrate the fact that we all live and enjoy the time we spend living was only the beginning.  Wearing my red, "Beef: it's what's for dinner" hat.  Arriving at an unrippled pond.  (Unrippled ain't a word I guess) Not another soul.  We had the water to ourselves, aside from the geese.  The water, the rope swing, and the dock were all ours.  Everything made for perfection that couldn't be ruined, even an hour later when other people started to show up, having discovered our secret.  

This is a place known for summer fun though nobody understands fully.  Sure, the feeling is great as your bare feet leave the low limbs of the old tree as you skim across the surface, but this isn't the only thing that makes it great.  The great feeling is doing it over and over and over again, laughing the whole time.  Laughing because we've forgotten what we were so worried about hours before.  Laughing because we like this feeling of forgetting.  

Summer is forgetting.

Of course, summer is not just about forgetting everything.  As a student, we forget school.  As an adult we take a moment/hour/day/week to forget about the day-to-day struggles. It is forgetting the worry we feel and remembering the friends we have and the things we crave all through the year.  Running barefoot to catch a baseball or frisbee.  Swimming in a lake or river.  Climbing, hiking, running, and wishing to fly for miles.  Things that can't be replicated when the cold weather reappears.  The friendship we have and develop is the most important thing that we can concentrate on during these months.  Nobody ever had proper fun hiking a mountain by themselves. "The Sandlot" would be an extremely dull movie had there only been one kid on the baseball field.  The people we associate with during the summer months are generally the friends that we stick with in hard situations during the rest of the year.  


There are too many things that help make a hot summer day into the magic that is necessary for an unforgettable adventure.  Too many things to really pin down.  The people we do an activity with are the major decider of what makes for the best summers.  The kind of day that will be imprinted in the ripples of your mind for decades.

The hardest part about a summer is the end.  Unfortunately as I write this I am beginning to realize exactly how numbered our summer days are.  School starts in two weeks, one of the best kids I know is moving down to St. George for school tomorrow, and the good byes have been flying around.  Good byes suck pretty bad, but it is a regular summer festivity.  There has never been a summer without a few farewells along the way.  Pieces of us going in all sorts of weird directions with our friends.  The seemingly perfect days only memories.

Though you could argue that there is no such thing as a perfect day, I feel that we may have abridged memories, to make them appear as such. So hopefully as the summer days get shorter, and the fall countdown begins; as we part ways and focus on new goals and ambitions, the memories of these summer days stay perfect in our minds.

(So let the record show I have an awesome friend who can be pretty eloquent when he needs to be.  Barely a blogger himself and he even included a picture! I'm so proud.)

And no post would be complete without mentioning the last YouTube video I watched: Bow Ties Are Cool - Alex Carpenter (Doctor Who apparently comes back September 1st, which is excellent news. I'm stoked.)

On the naming of inanimate objects

I've been talking (read: texting) with Jordan this morning (as always) and we're talking about the different names we've come up w/ for objects in our lives; as in, we give real human names for everyday objects.

I know plenty of people that do this and it's strangely fun to do. My friend Cameron has a longboard named Guinevere. Kate's new car is named Basil. (Okay, so that's not quite a real human name but it's still named.)

My belongings are pretty much exclusively named for characters from books and TV shows. I think my favorite name of a thing I have is my phone, which is named Colin after the main character in An Abundance of Katherines by John Green. My very lovely friend Kate's full name is Katherine, so I made her read that book. From that point on, for whatever reason, her phone was Hassan, named for Colin's best friend, and my phone was Colin. It goes a bit beyond the phones though since we've actually addressed letters to each other using those names. (We boh quite like that book.) At this point I cannot even remember why we gave our phones those names. I wish I did. It's a shame I didn't blog back then.

Well, I should probably finish up this post so it gets posted on time. Since I get home from work at 11 little time is left to write at night, which is when I enjoy blogging the most. I now have five days of work left. It was almost only four but I got scheduled to work on Saturday. It's not a terrible thing because who doesn't need extra money like that but it's still a bit disappointing since I don't get to hang out w/ Megan and Kate. I try to stay positive about working on Saturdays by thinking of what I'll do w/ the extra money. It's really just going towards food and rent and textbooks but I like to think it's really for awesome road trips and other adventures.

I'll be back in Utah in only SIX DAYS. Time sure flies when all I do is work and talk to Jordan.

Last YouTube video I watched: The Invisible Man

A home of sorts

Since May there has been a serious increase in the number of my freshman friends returning from their missions. Sometimes it feels like every other day another one returns home. I can't help but smile as I see their names change on Facebook with the loss of the title "Elder." I can't help but smile as they make their first posts, proclaiming in some way, "I'M BACK," posts which are inevitably followed by a plethora of welcome back comments and likes from friends and family.

What I'm most excited about though is seeing those guys on campus again. Everywhere I went freshman year I felt like I was always running into someone I knew. The last two years I hardly saw people I knew on campus; this past year that might have had something to do with the fact that I spent nearly all my time in a single building. There was always something so comforting about knowing people on campus and being able to talk with them for even a brief moment. After freshman year literally half the people I knew were suddenly gone. But this next school year hopefully I'll get those little campus moments once again.

Recently my friend Katie wrote a blog post about enjoying time w/ her family before she leaves for a year and a half to Hong Kong. Her post started off with this:

Do you ever have those moments when something is so beautiful that you can't breathe? When your heart is so full and fit to burst that there actually isn't enough room in your chest for air? When you ache with longing, and you aren't quite sure why, but your white-hot joy is tinged with just a shade of grief? When you are reminded of something that feels more like home than anything you've ever experienced, but you can't quite put your finger on what it is? 

Katie is quite the wordsmith, something I've always known but appreciated so much more when I read that. She managed to put into words a few different emotions that are often so hard to explain, especially the emotions directly related to what "home" is. As I saw my friends come home while I was in Utah for spring term I experienced a different version of home. Walking and talking with Jordan was incredibly familiar; we didn't skip a beat. Watching Matthew interact with his old roommates and talking with him one-on-one was so comforting; in so many ways little had changed. But in so many ways a lot had changed as well. We're all different but also the same. Two years changed us but I also think it made us realize even more so how "home" is not the place but the people.

And while those freshman friends make college feel like home, there are plenty of people I met while they were gone that make me feel at home. The boys of Fiery Passion. The girls across the hall in apartment #2. Carson & Kaitlin from Italian. Mckenna. Jeff, and sometimes even his crazy roommates. James, Brooke's husband of almost one year(!) And most recently Cameron for starting Doctor Who night.

In about a year or so I won't be a college student anymore. It's probable that I won't reside in Utah, nor will many of my friends who made it into a home at all, but that's okay. Utah itself isn't all that special. Utah is special because of the people I met and learned to love, people I will always continue to know and love. Without those people Utah would mean nothing to me. The great thing about having met people from all over the United States is the fact that home is wherever we happen to meet again.

I'd also like to mention that this my 300th post on this blog. Incredible. Three hundred posts, some more intricate and thought-provoking than others, that's for sure. I'm not sure if I'll get to 300 more but you never know.

Last YouTube video I watched: Meyers Leonard Highlight Mix

By the numbers: my first week back home

I flew home last Tuesday, the 19th of June. Here's some stuff I've done in the last week.

• Number of things I've eaten from Kopp's: 3. (Cheeseburger, caramel cashew in a waffle cone & onion rings)

• Number of episodes of Grey's Anatomy I've watched: 47. (And counting)

• Number of episodes of Doctor Who I've watched: 0. (I miss DW nights at the Lava Lounge)

• Number of text messages Jordan and I have sent/received: Something exorbitant. (Let's just say I've sent and received more text messages in the last week than in any other week since I've had a phone. Easily)

• Number of times I mowed the lawn: 1.

• Number of new pairs of shoes I've acquired: 1. (Wonderful Birkenstocks)

• Number of times I've run two miles: 3.

• Number of times I've seen my best friend Kate: 1. (It included paninis and raspberry frozen lemonade)

• Number of times I've listened to Brandon Flowers' solo album Flamingo in its entirety: 2. (But this number will be rising quickly)

• Number of fireflies I've seen: 3 (I saw them all last night when I went to close the windows on each of the cars)

• Number of new bands/albums I've listened to: 8.

• Number of days I've written in my journal: Every single one of them.

• Number of slices of delicious thin crust pizza I've eaten: I can't quite remember but it was a lot.

And today was my first day of work. Have no fear, people. Your cream cheese is in safe hands once again. It's interesting to work a full 8 hours again but soon enough it will become all I know.


Last YouTube video I watched: At Or With Me

Freshman fun (2 years later)

Last night I saw one of my very best friends dance with her husband at their gorgeous wedding reception.

Last night I also stayed up late talking about boys and the mysteries of life with my freshman roommate while sleeping in the same room once again.

Today I talked to and hugged another one of my very best friends for the first time in over two years.

This afternoon I also sat next to, hugged, joked with, snacked with and talked with two other really awesome friends who I've only seen once since they returned to Utah in December and January respectively.

It was a crazy weekend for freshman memories and friends, that's for sure. It all started with being around Jordan for a few hours on Friday. (Except I'm totally lame and we didn't take any pictures together. Bummer.) Being around him always makes me reminisce. 

As I mentioned in an earlier post, Saturday night was Mikaela's wedding reception. It was an awesome night. Lorraine and I helped decorate Mik and Calvin's car. It's so fun being involved in wedding activities like that. Our good friend Kara was kind of in charge and had bought a ton of supplies: window paint, post-it notes, streamers, knock-off Oreos, marshmallows etc. The greatest part about the car was what Calvin's uncle did. He wired the brakes to a horn, so whenever someone stepped on the brakes off went a horn. It was hilarious.

the finished product

After the reception Lorraine and I went to SJ's house to hang out. When we got there she had a huge ice pack on her face. Her little brother accidentally hit her in the face with a lacrosse ball. It was both funny and sad. We got a lot of nice talking in and just reminisced on life and also we got to learn about her boyfriend Dave. This was the first time I met him but he's great. Once Lorraine and Dave left Sara and I kept talking of course and just philosophized like old times. It was lovely to sleep in the same room as her again and talk about life across the room in our beds. It was so familiar and comfortable and great. I'm going to miss her terribly when she goes to Ecuador.

This morning Sara and I went to a mission farewell for her really good friend and a girl I met through her. It was lovely. Then we went back to SJ's and ate crepes with her dad and little brother. Sara is a great cook and the crepes were DELICIOUS. We had strawberries, raspberries, chocolate syrup, maple syrup and homemade whipped cream! We ate a ridiculous amount but it was great.

This afternoon it was time to see Matthew for the first time in over two years. He did an awesome job speaking and I loved just seeing and hearing him again. In church I sat next to Sara, of course, and our freshman friends Braden and Will. They were two of Matt's roommates and this was their first time seeing him too. We all just laughed and had a great time all afternoon talking about their missions, summer plans and our plans to hang out in fall. Will and Braden are the guys Lorraine and I saw Imagine Dragons with back in March. Will and I already have plans to go to another concert together in September.

reunited at last.

I probably monopolized Matt's time a little much but I felt justified since I haven't seen him in over two years and I won't see him now for another two months. It was so great seeing him and I can go back to Wisconsin a very happy kid having seen him.

I will never not love him.

Last YouTube video I watched: Permafrost (Laurena)

Summer packing & last adventures

I've spent a little time the past two days putting my clothes and a few other belongings in my now-weathered suitcase. It's been on quite a few trips now, many to and from Utah. The most exciting thing about packing today is the fact that I'll be able to fit my wonderful memory foam pillow and the suitcase won't be over the 50 pound weight limit. I'm very excited about this fact.

Packing is always interesting because it really shows you what things you like/need the most, especially when it comes to clothes. There are some shirts and pants I most definitely need and others that are nice to have but just aren't necessary. I've found that to be the case with a lot of my t-shirts. There are still things at home in my closet so I don't need to bring everything from here. It's hard to decide what to bring and what to leave though since I don't know how I'll feel a month from now and I don't doubt wanting a lot of the things being left behind in my closet in Utah.

Of course some of the hardest things to leave behind are books. I love having a lot of my books here in Utah because they make my room feel like a home. Luckily my brother and I both have all the Harry Potter books or I'd be real sad. This will also give me the opportunity/force me to read books I haven't read before.

Besides packing the last few days have been spent doing awesome stuff with awesome people. Becca and I made Swedish pancakes the other night at, like, eleven. They were delicious of course. Lorraine and Laura came over to enjoy them with us.

Lorraine, Becca and I also went to a birthday party for a friend, though the real purpose was to see Amber. She lived in the same building as us freshman year. Becca and her were also roommates sophomore year. It's always lovely to see Amber and just catch up on life. It's great when we all get together because suddenly all these inside jokes come out that we usually forget about, and then we just laugh really hard and people are confused as to what's so funny.

Thursday afternoon I got lunch with Jeff. We went to Cafe Rio and it was glorious. I seem to always forget how delicious Cafe Rio is until I go again. It was just the two of us which was lovely. We sat for a long time just talking about life and such. We're really good at transitioning between all sorts of topics of conversation. One minute we'll be talking about BYU football or basketball and then we're talking about his roommates' dating lives and then we'll be having some spiritual/churchy conversation. It's great times with Jeff and I'll miss our little hang outs.

Perhaps the best thing of this past week was hanging out with Jordan one last time before I leave. Actually, it is definitely the best thing that happened this past week. He came over yesterday morning and we went to the park and threw around my frisbee for an hour. Then we got shakes at the creamery. It was the first time he had the flavor graham canyon since getting back from his mission so he was super excited and he was not disappointed. We ate our shakes at my apartment and then watched most of the Sweden/England soccer match. At halftime we shared our friends' awkward engagement pictures and had a good laugh. I also shared some of my new music with him. Jordan and I became friends primarily because we loved each other's music, but we stayed friends because we have a lot of other stuff in common as well. Saying good-bye to him was difficult since we've only seen each other a couple times in the past month he's been home but it's all right this time around because we can actually call each other and text each other whenever we want. Fall semester is going to be awesome and we've already made plans for some adventures upon my return to Utah.

So tonight is Mikaela's wedding reception. Lorraine and I will go to that and then visiting SJ's house to have a little fire and to eat s'mores. I'm sleeping over at Sara's house so tomorrow we can go together to see Matthew speak in church. This will be the first, and really the only time, I'll be seeing Matthew this spring. I'm ecstatic. Now that he's home the mail has little meaning anymore. For two years I practically lived for checking the mail, but those days are no more. It's weird to not have that constant anymore, though now that my friends who are girls are going on missions I'll still be writing plenty of letters, that's for sure.

And now a photo tribute to Mikaela and I throughout the years:

I'm pretty sure this is the first picture
Mikaela and I were ever in together

Congratulations on getting married today, Mik! You're awesome and I can't wait to hear about all your married life adventures with Calvin in Colorado.

Last YouTube video I watched: Watsky raps fast

Letters & returns

I just spent well over an hour listening to Noah And The Whale and reading all the letters I got from one of my very closest friends while he's been on his mission. He comes home in about two weeks and it was crazy to read things from both one and two years ago.

We spend all our time waiting for them to come back so when they finally do start coming back it's kind of weird. Nope, not kind of weird. Totally and completely weird. We can send them off and wait for them but it's hard to know how to act when they start returning.

The only contact I've had with these friends for two years is handwritten letters. It's both wonderful and terrible. You get to know people incredibly well through letters, but obviously there is no replacement for in-person interactions. I love the letters I've gotten from my friends and they only make me more excited for those in real life interactions that will be even more prevalent in coming months.

Letter-reading is definitely very relaxing and almost cathartic. For a lot of the letters I read, I could remember exactly where I was when I first read them. The most recent letter from the aforementioned awesome friend, for example, was read lying on the carpet in my living room. And I'm pretty sure I was listening to Noah And The Whale as I read it as well.

All my closest friends from freshman year will be getting home within the next few months so I hardly expect to receive any letters either, not with such small amounts of time left. I could not care less, though. I'm just stoked to see all their faces for real and not in pictures of them with suits and ties.

Last YouTube video I watched: Mumford & Sons - Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing

Thai deliciousness & musicality

Tonight my friend Trent, who is Thai, made authentic Thai food for some friends and myself. You may remember me mentioning my love of such food after Hank introduced me to it last October. I haven't had it since then but tonight did not disappoint. There is something so fantastic about a finely made curry. Just having dinner made for you is lovely, and not something that happens very often at college. It's nice having friends who cook ethnic foods. It's nice having a college family of sorts.

I could go on for ages about this food but I've also been inspired to talk about musical tastes and how crucial they are to relationships, both between friends and romantic interests.

While I listen to a lot of different kinds of music, I usually try to narrow it down for people. At the very least, I tell them I'll listen to basically anything but rap or country. Unless it's George Watsky; I like when he raps. But I digress . . . For the sake of many conversations I limit myself to categories like indie-folk or piano or jazz, when really the music I listen to is all of those things combined at times. A lot of the time my descriptions of music include specific instruments. These days it's often banjo, ukulele; and it's always included piano. Beyond the chill folk type music I love, I'm also kind of into electronic/alternative stuff, like Passion Pit. And then there is a'capella, which is unlike anything else and more fantastic than most music.

I've been thinking about music a lot as the time draws near that Jordan, who is basically my musical soulmate, returns from Scotland. I'm pretty sure the only thing regarding music Jordan and I have disagreed on is that I kind of like Iron and Wine's version of Such Great Heights almost more than I like The Postal Service's.

Music does so much to change relationships of all sorts. You can obviously be friends w/ people who have different musical tastes. I sure do. But I must acknowledge the fact that my perceptions of people and my respect for them can be lowered exponentially upon finding out their musical tastes are, well, different than mine. Yes, I do, at times, exhibit the behaviors of music snobs. I try to avoid it as much as possible, but I cannot always help myself. It's especially disappointing when I find myself attracted to a boy who seems incredibly wonderful and then I find out what he listens to and it becomes difficult to sustain the previous level of attraction. These things can be worked through, usually by focusing on the music you both happen to like, but life is just easier when you share the same musical loves. The music people like either heightens my respect for them or causes it to drop. There is no space for plateaus in my world of music. It's a weird concept, that my thoughts on someone could change so drastically because of something like music. I sometimes wish it wasn't that way, that I wouldn't use music as such a guide, but then I realize some people probably think my music is crap and are probably doing the same thing to me. Yet I don't care that they do.

At times I find myself feeling very hipster-ish because of my affinity for music basically no one else listens to. I don't do it on purpose. I just happen to spend a lot of time on YouTube where there happen to be an incredible number of talented musicians. This is not to say I don't listen to mainstream music, because I do, though it usually is limited to Coldplay. (I love Coldplay terribly and will never not, no matter what people say about them.) I made a playlist for a dance party Lorraine and I wanted to have. More than half the artists on that playlist I discovered through YouTube and no one would have heard of. It doesn't help that over Christmas break I seemed to have become some weird type of hipster/nerd/athlete combo.

For a taste of what I listen to on a general basis, I suggest reading my 25 songs of 2011 post. It is not comprehensive by any means, but it might give you an idea of what I enjoy. For example, it includes no big band or jazz music, which I was practically raised on, so just know I love things of that sort. For a truly comprehensive look at the music I love, I suggest examining my last.fm profile. That shows basically everything I've listened to since May 2007. (The song count is probably off since I forget to scrobble my iPod all the time but the most listened to artists is very accurate.)

Last YouTube video I watched: 4AM Monday (I also love running to this song.)

Birthdays (and other things)

Yesterday was the birthday of one of my best friends. He turned 21. He's also halfway across the world in the United Kingdom, so that's neat. He's been there for over a year and a half now.

I wrote the above paragraph earlier today. I can't remember why exactly I felt the need to tell the world, the tiny, tiny world of my blog, that one of my boys had his birthday. It felt important at the time . . .

Nothing of great importance has occurred lately, though. Today it was 65 F so that was fantastic. Because of that I've worn shorts the past few days, which is also fantastic. Series 6 of Doctor Who is now on Netflix which has given me something lovely to watch that I haven't seen in a while. Becca and I also got Panda Express for dinner tonight; I even have some left over for my breakfast. Over this last weekend I got some quality hugs as well. Some of my friends give dang good hugs. It's been a while since I had a truly satisfactory hug and I only realized that when my friend Phil hugged me, like, at least three times over the past two days. (You know a hug is good when you immediately think, "More hug, please" when you stop hugging.)

So while things of "importance" haven't happened, some pretty nice things have, I suppose. I've needed these little reminders of good life. Another thing that helped was talking to my journalism friend Taylor. She's a year younger than me but we've gotten into the program at the same time. Today we talked about the whole "sophomore slump" thing. She's kind of in it now and I was kind of in it last year. Expressing how far I've come and all the changes I've experienced in the last year or so was much needed. I've come a long way. Junior year has been quite lovely and I don't think I would change a single thing about it.

I realize I can tie in the whole "best friend birthday" thing. He's one of the reasons last year was bearable and this year is going to be even more fantastic. His letters kept me going through tough stuff. I've learned things about him and he's learned things about me through our letters that we probably never would have known otherwise. Letters are nice that way. (When's the last time you received a handwritten note? Or better yet, when's the last time you wrote one?)

In other big news, today is ShayCarl's birthday! If you don't know who he is, make sure to check out the Shaytards right quick. He's the guy who made it possible for me to write the post on happiness being a choice.

To leave you with some ShayCarl wisdom now: The secrets to life are hidden behind the word cliche.

Last YouTube video I watched: Hank is an Adorable, Drunk Princess

In the past year

Every year of college thus far, on my birthday or soon before or after, I have made a video mentioning all of the cool things I did in the last year. I won't link to the video here because I have a strict no-linking-to-my-own-videos policy, but those of you that really want to find it will be able to.

The moment after I hit the publish button I suddenly remembered a bunch of things I did that didn't make it into the video. It always seems to happen that way. I'm going to list some of those things here, along with some things I came to learn in my 21st year of life while I was 20 years old.

-On my way home to Wisconsin after winter 2011 semester, I stopped in Iowa to spend the afternoon with my best friend, Kate. I don't mention Kate very often on this blog and that's totally uncalled for on account of how she plays a huge role in my life. We went to this cool little restaurant and had cashew butter sandwiches. They were extremely delicious. Seeing her was amazing since we only saw each other very briefly over Christmas break.

-I didn't get a haircut. The last time I got a haircut was August 2010. I'm most definitely due for one, though only a trim, since this year (junior year) is the first time in college my hair has been a length I really like.

-I had hypoxia in my, I think, right eye. Or was it my left? I don't recall at this point. Basically, my eye wasn't getting enough oxygen and I had to put in tons of eyedrops that were literally steroids and wear my glasses for a while. I would say the majority of people I've met at college have never seen me in my old glasses; there's a reason for that. Everyone knows me by my black nerdy glasses these days, so it might be hard to imagine me not liking my glasses but I just really did not like my old ones. Besides the fact that I had to wear glasses I didn't like, eye pain is some of the most horrible pain I've ever experien

-I learned a lot more about patience this past year. For as much I wanted letters during my sophomore year of school, the summer and fall semester of 2011 have taught me over and over again the reason I write letters at all, as has this semester thus far. Since my last birthday I was very lucky, getting letters from Jordan literally once a month. They were amazing letters too. I haven't gotten one from him in a while now, but whenever things seem to be going off-track, a letter from Matt finds its way to me.

-Speaking of Jordan and Matt, I learned even more how much they care about me. It's a lot. I wish I could convey more clearly how I feel about those boys and how they feel about me, but my relationships with them are quite inexplicable with words most of the time.

-I realized how much my relationship with Marcas still affects my decisions today, and how much it means when people hear the whole story. I know I haven't mentioned him in a quite some time in my writings here; I don't even know if he ever was mentioned by name on this blog, though I imagine he had to be. (I know at one point I moved a post about him over to my journal-blog). If you've heard the Marcas story in its entirety, know that it means you're a big deal. In Utah, I think 3 people know it. And only 1 person from home does.

-I found a lot of confidence in myself this past year, in so many ways. I guess I'll list a few things that I feel more sure about that I had not felt good about before: how I look, my dating life, the fact that I have a future and I really am good at writing. It's a pretty vague list, but the repercussions are felt every day on all three of those points.

-Watching The Office can cure all injury, physical or otherwise. Watching The Office with friends works even better.

-My version of "um" is most definitely "I don't know." In relaxed/philosophical conversation when I'm trying to explain myself, my answer first is (almost) always "I don't know," at which point I will then explain what I mean. I never noticed that before until fall semester; I say noticed but it was pointed out to me that I always say it. Besides it being my "um," it also kind of means I do actually know but don't want to completely explain myself, so I say that to stall a bit and think up the best way to say whatever it is that I don't want to say in a way that sounds legitimate. Sorry if you've had to experience any of those things; I know people get annoyed by it. I'm really trying to work on doing it less.

Last YouTube video I watched: Mario Bros. vs Wright Bros. Epic Rap Battle of History

A thing I did today

So yeah, I posted already today. About candy. But I just thought of something else I did today that is way more nostalgia inducing and actually pretty serious.

Today I registered for spring classes. As Lorraine and I were eating our respective dinners of rice & vegetables w/ soy sauce and a lettuce wrap w/ cheese, she mentioned how we've been building up to this moment for the last two years, me specifically. Winter semester freshman year, very early on, I decided that I would be staying spring semester 2012 so that I might be able to see some of my lovely friends immediately after they returned home from their missions. I talked about this plan all the time over the past two years. There's probably at least one other blog post from way back when in which I mention it. Last semester it still seemed kind of other worldly to think I'd be in Utah during the spring.

But now it's really coming.

I had some distractions last semester so while I thought about the return of my friends quite often, it was a lot of tempered thought. That was probably a good thing. Last semester was the first time since my friends left that I really felt like I was moving towards something new and different, which I was. I mentioned in my post from Monday that because I've spent all this time waiting, I hardly know how to act with the returning. Looking back, those three months did bring me some guidance, though I wouldn't exactly call it anything concrete. Or maybe I'm just not willing to share what I learned, at least not yet. (Trust me, I learned some really important stuff, though.) A lot of things happened in the last few months of last year that would seem to be turning points of some sort or another. It's an interesting concept.

It's hard for me to decide what to share and what not to share tonight, if only for the fact that I'm scared I'll just be rambling. I think a lot of my posts on the subject of returning friends become quite repetitious. Though my intentions for each post seem different, somehow it all ends up sounding the same. I'm also still apprehensive about sharing on this blog the various details of specific events. One reason I'll admit for not sharing such details is because I find it (usually) much more helpful to work out such thoughts with real people, in real life. Writing about that stuff here sometimes feels like cheating, because I know how much I would benefit from actually talking about it all. What holds me back with actually talking to people is the fact that I need the right people around, especially since some of them have heard certain thoughts over and over again, and I don't want to burden them with it all.

And wow, this has become a completely different post than I stared out with . . . To get back on track: I registered for spring classes and I could not be more excited about it. I will most definitely be in the state of Utah for the returns of a few choice people who have pretty much changed my life.

Last YouTube video I watched: First Impressions (original Julia Nunes)

And so they return

Today was the first time I ran into a freshman friend on campus. I'd seen a few other guys from freshman year, one who was a good friend then, but today was the first accidental run in.

And it was glorious. (Maybe that's too strong a word, but it was super neat.)

I'd been having a pretty good day, nothing to complain about at all, really. As I was leaving my building to head home for lunch and to start homework I saw him. He lived with my best friend Matt so I know him well enough. Our apartments did a big group date once; it was way fun. But I digress. I had my headphones in and he had his in but when we saw each other it was a bit of a double take; at least, I kind of did a double take. Some of it was because just an hour or so before I was talking w/ Lorraine and Brooke about seeing freshman boys again. And then I saw one!

We hugged, which ended up not as nice as it should've been because of the glorious filled backpacks we're forced to haul around. He and I talked for five or ten minutes, just doing some quick catching up on school and on old friends. It was a fantastic little way to end my day on campus.

I think my favorite part of that moment, of seeing this guy who I was friends with but not best friends with, was that it still felt amazing. I've been waiting for two years for these boys to return to the place we met and now that they finally are I can hardly believe it. In a sense, I have no idea how to act. I worked so long on waiting that I'm not prepared for the returning. To have these people around from that awesome first year at college is just fantastic.

So for how exciting just seeing this kid was, I can hardly begin to imagine how exciting it will be to see Matthew and Jordan. I'm glad I have all semester to prepare, though I doubt it will matter in the slightest when those days come.

Last YouTube video I watched: Jason Mraz Cover (I Won't Give Up)