Microwave or oven?

The other night after getting home from work I was video chatting it up w/ Becca. We were talking about boys and friends and Utah and all that jazz. She brought up an analogy she learned at church regarding how boys and girls fall in love differently. 

Essentially, boys are microwaves because they "heat up fast" and fall in love quickly. They know pretty early on whether or not they are interested in a girl. Girls, on the other hand, are ovens because they take a little longer to get things rolling. It takes a greater amount of time for girls to become interested/fall in love.

And that's the whole analogy. (When she told me that I was waiting for it to be more in-depth but that's all there is, at least at this point. I was slightly underwhelmed.)Becca said she is an oven that never gets fully heated up. And I replied something along the lines of, "Well, yeah, you've gotta preheat to, like, 450. That takes a lot longer than just 325 like most other girls."

So is it true? Are boys microwaves and girls ovens? I'm inclined to say yes. Of course there are exceptions to most every analogy, especially when it comes to dating/love. But I feel like it's a pretty common occurrence for a guy to say "I'm going to marry that girl!" pretty early on in a relationship, and then BOOM. Roasted. They do get married.

In just about 3 weeks I'll be back in the world of crazy love and relationship analogies. Heading back to Utah is always fun. And the fun for me starts bright and early with a 6 am flight, so if any of my Utah friends happen to see me that day, expect some very tired conversation. Luckily, the first person I'll see upon my arrival is Jeffrey and he won't care how tired I am.

Last YouTube video I watched: The Science of Lying

In the past year

Every year of college thus far, on my birthday or soon before or after, I have made a video mentioning all of the cool things I did in the last year. I won't link to the video here because I have a strict no-linking-to-my-own-videos policy, but those of you that really want to find it will be able to.

The moment after I hit the publish button I suddenly remembered a bunch of things I did that didn't make it into the video. It always seems to happen that way. I'm going to list some of those things here, along with some things I came to learn in my 21st year of life while I was 20 years old.

-On my way home to Wisconsin after winter 2011 semester, I stopped in Iowa to spend the afternoon with my best friend, Kate. I don't mention Kate very often on this blog and that's totally uncalled for on account of how she plays a huge role in my life. We went to this cool little restaurant and had cashew butter sandwiches. They were extremely delicious. Seeing her was amazing since we only saw each other very briefly over Christmas break.

-I didn't get a haircut. The last time I got a haircut was August 2010. I'm most definitely due for one, though only a trim, since this year (junior year) is the first time in college my hair has been a length I really like.

-I had hypoxia in my, I think, right eye. Or was it my left? I don't recall at this point. Basically, my eye wasn't getting enough oxygen and I had to put in tons of eyedrops that were literally steroids and wear my glasses for a while. I would say the majority of people I've met at college have never seen me in my old glasses; there's a reason for that. Everyone knows me by my black nerdy glasses these days, so it might be hard to imagine me not liking my glasses but I just really did not like my old ones. Besides the fact that I had to wear glasses I didn't like, eye pain is some of the most horrible pain I've ever experien

-I learned a lot more about patience this past year. For as much I wanted letters during my sophomore year of school, the summer and fall semester of 2011 have taught me over and over again the reason I write letters at all, as has this semester thus far. Since my last birthday I was very lucky, getting letters from Jordan literally once a month. They were amazing letters too. I haven't gotten one from him in a while now, but whenever things seem to be going off-track, a letter from Matt finds its way to me.

-Speaking of Jordan and Matt, I learned even more how much they care about me. It's a lot. I wish I could convey more clearly how I feel about those boys and how they feel about me, but my relationships with them are quite inexplicable with words most of the time.

-I realized how much my relationship with Marcas still affects my decisions today, and how much it means when people hear the whole story. I know I haven't mentioned him in a quite some time in my writings here; I don't even know if he ever was mentioned by name on this blog, though I imagine he had to be. (I know at one point I moved a post about him over to my journal-blog). If you've heard the Marcas story in its entirety, know that it means you're a big deal. In Utah, I think 3 people know it. And only 1 person from home does.

-I found a lot of confidence in myself this past year, in so many ways. I guess I'll list a few things that I feel more sure about that I had not felt good about before: how I look, my dating life, the fact that I have a future and I really am good at writing. It's a pretty vague list, but the repercussions are felt every day on all three of those points.

-Watching The Office can cure all injury, physical or otherwise. Watching The Office with friends works even better.

-My version of "um" is most definitely "I don't know." In relaxed/philosophical conversation when I'm trying to explain myself, my answer first is (almost) always "I don't know," at which point I will then explain what I mean. I never noticed that before until fall semester; I say noticed but it was pointed out to me that I always say it. Besides it being my "um," it also kind of means I do actually know but don't want to completely explain myself, so I say that to stall a bit and think up the best way to say whatever it is that I don't want to say in a way that sounds legitimate. Sorry if you've had to experience any of those things; I know people get annoyed by it. I'm really trying to work on doing it less.

Last YouTube video I watched: Mario Bros. vs Wright Bros. Epic Rap Battle of History

Good Dates.

I'll be the first to admit, I haven't exactly been on that many dates in my lifetime. I've gone on dates with only 8 different boys. Up until this semester, when things were finally equalized, I asked out the boys more than half the time. And I have only ever been on a second date once. You get the picture. Despite the small number of dates, I've never yet had a bad one. Granted, my sample size is small, but you'd think I would have encountered a date I wish I had said no to. This is not so. In fact, all the dates I've been on in the last few months have been quite good.

And so, you ask, what constitutes a good date? Well, here's my formula.

1. The boy should really do the asking. I have planned some pretty awesome dates, that's for sure. (Need I remind you of the fake fancy Taco Bell dinner from this past February?) But as I explained in The Dating Fascination, guys do not like it when a girl asks them on a first date unless it is strictly as friends. Men, you need to man up. Screw rejection. You don't think it's hard for girls to ask you on dates? Wrong. It is hard. But it's not that difficult. (I feel okay lecturing people on this because my first ever date was me asking out the boy. And so was the third. And the fourth. And the sixth. And the seventh.) Seriously, just ask out a girl. You'll be fine. This is not to say that I haven't had good dates when I've asked out the guys, but there's something so nice about it when they ask you.

2. The date's activity should be conducive to holding a conversation. If you can't talk to each other, there really isn't much point to the date. Unless you just want to mack on them. But that's a whole other story we won't be going into. (At least at this point.)

3. The most fun dates I've ever been on have been relatively cheap. You don't have to drop a lot of cash to have a good time. I won't lie, going out to eat together is really nice. But so is acting like the poor college students we are. One of my favorite dates from this year, though it was really what we call a "quasi-date," involved sharing a bag of our favorite candy, Swedish Fish and those fruity Tootsie Roll type things, and hanging out at the park just talking for an hour or two. It was so choice, even if it wasn't planned.

If those three things are fulfilled, to me it's a good date. Obviously I can't guarantee anything, but chances are it will at least be decent.

But besides dating, I go home in 11 days! I'm quite ecstatic to eat delicious Wisconsin foods and drinks. Provo is always a little hard to leave for Christmas, mostly because I don't have my awesome friends to hang out with, but it's not that hard to go. This year's departure will be interesting for various reasons, one of which has to do with the fact that I have 5 exams and 4 days in which to take them. And that's not even the most interesting/problematic in a good way reason!

Last YouTube video I watched: Luke Conard and Ryan Seiler - Worth It

The Dating Fascination

What is it with talking about dating that makes people so annoyed and intrigued at the exact same time? I don't think most people go a single day without at least mentioning dating and/or marriage. And I'm probs not exempt from this. As ridiculous and hilarious and awesome as dating is, no one really seems to understand it. One might think a simple formula for dating exists, I like to believe it does, but somehow it gets confounded in every which way.

I'm a pretty honest and straight-forward person. It's not like if I'm interested in a guy I'm going to straight up tell him, "Hey, I would legitimately consider dating you and entering into a relationship beyond platonic friendship. How do you like them apples?" Yeah, that won't be happening. I'm not that honest. But I am the kind of person who won't play "games," like when girls act interested in other guys to make the guy they are really interested in jealous . . . What's that about? Does that actually work? I can't imagine it yields great results. If a guy I had interest in were to (attempt) to make me jealous, well, that would be the end of my interest. A little more honesty would go a long way, and to me honesty is basically the only formula for dating you need. It's served me quite well thus far.

Despite the intense fascination with dating and figuring out how to discover if someone is interested in you, people sure do have a round about way of dealing with things. While it has been deemed "normal" for the guy to ask the girl out on the first date, whenever girls ask guys out on dates, people seem to label that girl as too "forward." Or it's seen as a "just friends" date. Don't get me wrong, I love a good date w/ a good friend that you know will never lead to anything, but why is it that girls asking guys they are interested in on dates gets such a bad reputation? I would think that with all the time we spend talking and contemplating the art and practice of dating, we might be a little better at it. Of course, there are some people that seem to have got it all figured out. And yet they cannot often explain, at least very well, how it happened, how things worked out.

I suppose the fascination with dating is just that: fascinating. People love to fall in love. And others love to know why and how. It's a neat experience. (You probably haven't heard love referred to as neat before . . . You're welcome.)

Here's a quote by Oscar Wilde I've absolutely loved since reading it for the first time this summer.

We can have in life but one great experience at best, and the secret of life is to reproduce that experience as often as possible.

So it's not specifically about love, at least I don't think it's supposed to be. Nevertheless, it applies. I've always read it with the concept of love in mind. That one great experience, realizing you do love and are loved, is a big deal. We all have those moments at times. Sometimes we just realize how much people care about us and how much people need us. Those are great moments and we could all use a few more of them.

In conclusion, go on more dates. Crack the dating fascination code. I'll let you know if I make any progress myself.

Last YouTube video I watched: Show Me Where Ya Noms At