LORRAINE IS GOING TO PARIS FRANCE

Last night my beloved, sweet Lorraine got her mission call to Paris. It was quite the affair. There were at least 30 people crammed into our apartment and it was awesome. Yesterday afternoon I texted anyone who knows and loves Lorraine who she might not have already told. Nearly everyone I messaged showed up as well. It was a great group, filled with people from all four of years at college. A good number of boys from our freshman ward. All the sophomore year roommates except one since she was at work. All of Lorraine's immediate family plus a few cousins. A few boys and girls from our junior year. Lots of people from this year, our supposed "senior" year.

After hugging and saying hello to all my friends from years past and present, I took my place near our open door with Trent on my left, standing on our end table, and Jeffrey on my right. I strategically placed myself next to Jeff, as I knew if I were to need moral/emotional support, he would be the one I would look for anyway. (He did a great job providing it as well. I'm pretty sure Jeff and I hugged more last night than throughout the last 2.5 years combined.)

So in front of a packed house, Lorraine finally opened the envelope. She read only a few lines before completely stopping and exclaiming, "Oh my gosh!" and putting her face in the papers.

This is Lorraine's literal dream mission. She has been in love with France for years and has been there multiple times already. The joy on her face was indescribable to me. So here's a picture instead.

Stacy was in the most perfect spot to get all of these pictures, so kudos to her. I gave Becca my Flip to take video of it all, which she did. I'll upload that hopefully this weekend. It was an incredible night and I'm so glad we have the pictures to remember it by, but I don't even think we really need them. For the three roommates and myself, yesterday was an amazing experience. I don't think any of us could ask for more wonderful roommates.

There's Stacy, who served her mission in Chile and who randomly lived with Lorraine and I last year. Stacy is hilarious. Her missionary wisdom never ceases to amaze us. We are so incredibly blessed that Stacy randomly bought the fourth contract in our apartment last fall. We can always count on her for delicious baked goods and snappy comebacks.

There's Becca, who I talk about a lot on here, and who I've known since freshman orientation. Our relationship is pretty much perfect. Becca can make anyone laugh, if not for her own sense of humor but because of her propensity to snort loudly. I'm pretty sure it's impossible for Becca to ever stop loving and helping people.

And there's of course, Lorraine, who I have lived with for 3.5 years now and who Becca has known since freshman year as well. My love for Lorraine knows no bounds. Had I been told freshman year that I would live with her for the rest of my college years, I don't think I would've been surprised necessarily, but more so totally excited. Lorraine and I have been through some rough times, but also some absolutely joyful ones as well. It will be tough to send her off, but I know she'll hunt me down the moment she returns from France in 2014. And it will be an amazing reunion.

As the four of us shared a group hug just moments after she opened her call, the joy and love I felt regarding all of them was simply awesome. I looked at Lorraine, tears in her eyes, and of course I could not help but cry a bit as well. I knew it was going to happen. I told all my friends if they wanted to see me cry, then they had better be at our apartment at 9:30. Becca talked about that moment later. As we were all getting ready to finally go to bed, she said that tonight was the time we went from being friends to being family. There is something to be said for a group of people who just get each other. Apparently people in the ward have, at times, taken to calling us the "Fab Four." (Not a bad reputation to have.)

I'm a firm believer in the idea that you meet certain people at certain times for certain reasons. People are in your life for a reason. I have never doubted that for a moment with Lorraine, or with either of my roommates for that matter. There's so much stuff Lorraine and I have talked about that seems to make sense to only us. Whether or not this is actually true, I don't think I'll ever know. We have the same thoughts, we say the same things, we act the same way. Ours it not a relationship to be taken lightly. Last night, Jordan told me I was acting like a grieving girlfriend sending her boy on a mission. It's a fair comparison, one I proudly accept. 

Lorraine. The love of my life. My dear, sweet ginger. You are a gem,a lady I will never forget. You are the most perfect of all the nunjas to ever exist. I cannot tell you how happy I am to be able to say with complete certainty that everything is dream.

Magic letters

Over the past 2 or so years I've gotten some fantastic letters from some fantastic people. But here's a little something I never thought I would say: I think letters from sister missionaries are 10 million times better than letters from other missionaries. (No offense to my boys. They wrote some dang good letters.)

On Friday I got a letter from my dear friend Katie. She's eventually going to Hong Kong. (Yes, this is the Katie who inspired this post and the one I went October wakeboarding with.) The letter really wasn't anything that special. There were no crazy stories or experiences shared. But it was so wonderful to hear from her. She's been gone less than a month but I know it'll be weird going back to school and not having the opportunity to randomly run into her on campus. Somehow we always would and it made the days brighter.

I've gotten out of the habit of checking the mail ever since Jordan got home because his arrival meant the arrival of basically everyone else in the months soon after. There wasn't much chance of getting a letter in the last month or two before any of my friends came home. Checking the mail was one of very few constants I had from May 2010 to May 2012. It's interesting how things like that just become a part of you. In some ways I felt like a piece of me was lost when Jordan got home because suddenly there was no need to do the thing I had done for two whole years. And as John Green once wrote and Colin Singleton once said, "I don't think your missing pieces ever fit inside you again once they go missing." Usually I would agree, but in this case I think it has.

Getting that letter from Katie was exhilarating. I love doing semi-irresponsible things (longboarding, wakeboarding, climbing things, staying up until ridiculous o'clock w/ friends etc.) but there's a nifty kind of exhilaration that comes from opening a letter from a close friend. I didn't think I would ever really experience it again, even though I have a number of friends who are girls going off for 18 months, people I'll only communicate with through letters. This exhilaration does come in different forms, depending on who the letter is from, but it is always there in some way. Letter writing is a lost art and I'm so happy that I get to keep changing that.

T-minus 18 days until I return to Utah. Get excited, Utah friends.

Last YouTube video I watched: Rivers and Roads

Summer packing & last adventures

I've spent a little time the past two days putting my clothes and a few other belongings in my now-weathered suitcase. It's been on quite a few trips now, many to and from Utah. The most exciting thing about packing today is the fact that I'll be able to fit my wonderful memory foam pillow and the suitcase won't be over the 50 pound weight limit. I'm very excited about this fact.

Packing is always interesting because it really shows you what things you like/need the most, especially when it comes to clothes. There are some shirts and pants I most definitely need and others that are nice to have but just aren't necessary. I've found that to be the case with a lot of my t-shirts. There are still things at home in my closet so I don't need to bring everything from here. It's hard to decide what to bring and what to leave though since I don't know how I'll feel a month from now and I don't doubt wanting a lot of the things being left behind in my closet in Utah.

Of course some of the hardest things to leave behind are books. I love having a lot of my books here in Utah because they make my room feel like a home. Luckily my brother and I both have all the Harry Potter books or I'd be real sad. This will also give me the opportunity/force me to read books I haven't read before.

Besides packing the last few days have been spent doing awesome stuff with awesome people. Becca and I made Swedish pancakes the other night at, like, eleven. They were delicious of course. Lorraine and Laura came over to enjoy them with us.

Lorraine, Becca and I also went to a birthday party for a friend, though the real purpose was to see Amber. She lived in the same building as us freshman year. Becca and her were also roommates sophomore year. It's always lovely to see Amber and just catch up on life. It's great when we all get together because suddenly all these inside jokes come out that we usually forget about, and then we just laugh really hard and people are confused as to what's so funny.

Thursday afternoon I got lunch with Jeff. We went to Cafe Rio and it was glorious. I seem to always forget how delicious Cafe Rio is until I go again. It was just the two of us which was lovely. We sat for a long time just talking about life and such. We're really good at transitioning between all sorts of topics of conversation. One minute we'll be talking about BYU football or basketball and then we're talking about his roommates' dating lives and then we'll be having some spiritual/churchy conversation. It's great times with Jeff and I'll miss our little hang outs.

Perhaps the best thing of this past week was hanging out with Jordan one last time before I leave. Actually, it is definitely the best thing that happened this past week. He came over yesterday morning and we went to the park and threw around my frisbee for an hour. Then we got shakes at the creamery. It was the first time he had the flavor graham canyon since getting back from his mission so he was super excited and he was not disappointed. We ate our shakes at my apartment and then watched most of the Sweden/England soccer match. At halftime we shared our friends' awkward engagement pictures and had a good laugh. I also shared some of my new music with him. Jordan and I became friends primarily because we loved each other's music, but we stayed friends because we have a lot of other stuff in common as well. Saying good-bye to him was difficult since we've only seen each other a couple times in the past month he's been home but it's all right this time around because we can actually call each other and text each other whenever we want. Fall semester is going to be awesome and we've already made plans for some adventures upon my return to Utah.

So tonight is Mikaela's wedding reception. Lorraine and I will go to that and then visiting SJ's house to have a little fire and to eat s'mores. I'm sleeping over at Sara's house so tomorrow we can go together to see Matthew speak in church. This will be the first, and really the only time, I'll be seeing Matthew this spring. I'm ecstatic. Now that he's home the mail has little meaning anymore. For two years I practically lived for checking the mail, but those days are no more. It's weird to not have that constant anymore, though now that my friends who are girls are going on missions I'll still be writing plenty of letters, that's for sure.

And now a photo tribute to Mikaela and I throughout the years:

I'm pretty sure this is the first picture
Mikaela and I were ever in together

Congratulations on getting married today, Mik! You're awesome and I can't wait to hear about all your married life adventures with Calvin in Colorado.

Last YouTube video I watched: Watsky raps fast

Letters & returns

I just spent well over an hour listening to Noah And The Whale and reading all the letters I got from one of my very closest friends while he's been on his mission. He comes home in about two weeks and it was crazy to read things from both one and two years ago.

We spend all our time waiting for them to come back so when they finally do start coming back it's kind of weird. Nope, not kind of weird. Totally and completely weird. We can send them off and wait for them but it's hard to know how to act when they start returning.

The only contact I've had with these friends for two years is handwritten letters. It's both wonderful and terrible. You get to know people incredibly well through letters, but obviously there is no replacement for in-person interactions. I love the letters I've gotten from my friends and they only make me more excited for those in real life interactions that will be even more prevalent in coming months.

Letter-reading is definitely very relaxing and almost cathartic. For a lot of the letters I read, I could remember exactly where I was when I first read them. The most recent letter from the aforementioned awesome friend, for example, was read lying on the carpet in my living room. And I'm pretty sure I was listening to Noah And The Whale as I read it as well.

All my closest friends from freshman year will be getting home within the next few months so I hardly expect to receive any letters either, not with such small amounts of time left. I could not care less, though. I'm just stoked to see all their faces for real and not in pictures of them with suits and ties.

Last YouTube video I watched: Mumford & Sons - Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing

Birthdays (and other things)

Yesterday was the birthday of one of my best friends. He turned 21. He's also halfway across the world in the United Kingdom, so that's neat. He's been there for over a year and a half now.

I wrote the above paragraph earlier today. I can't remember why exactly I felt the need to tell the world, the tiny, tiny world of my blog, that one of my boys had his birthday. It felt important at the time . . .

Nothing of great importance has occurred lately, though. Today it was 65 F so that was fantastic. Because of that I've worn shorts the past few days, which is also fantastic. Series 6 of Doctor Who is now on Netflix which has given me something lovely to watch that I haven't seen in a while. Becca and I also got Panda Express for dinner tonight; I even have some left over for my breakfast. Over this last weekend I got some quality hugs as well. Some of my friends give dang good hugs. It's been a while since I had a truly satisfactory hug and I only realized that when my friend Phil hugged me, like, at least three times over the past two days. (You know a hug is good when you immediately think, "More hug, please" when you stop hugging.)

So while things of "importance" haven't happened, some pretty nice things have, I suppose. I've needed these little reminders of good life. Another thing that helped was talking to my journalism friend Taylor. She's a year younger than me but we've gotten into the program at the same time. Today we talked about the whole "sophomore slump" thing. She's kind of in it now and I was kind of in it last year. Expressing how far I've come and all the changes I've experienced in the last year or so was much needed. I've come a long way. Junior year has been quite lovely and I don't think I would change a single thing about it.

I realize I can tie in the whole "best friend birthday" thing. He's one of the reasons last year was bearable and this year is going to be even more fantastic. His letters kept me going through tough stuff. I've learned things about him and he's learned things about me through our letters that we probably never would have known otherwise. Letters are nice that way. (When's the last time you received a handwritten note? Or better yet, when's the last time you wrote one?)

In other big news, today is ShayCarl's birthday! If you don't know who he is, make sure to check out the Shaytards right quick. He's the guy who made it possible for me to write the post on happiness being a choice.

To leave you with some ShayCarl wisdom now: The secrets to life are hidden behind the word cliche.

Last YouTube video I watched: Hank is an Adorable, Drunk Princess

In the past year

Every year of college thus far, on my birthday or soon before or after, I have made a video mentioning all of the cool things I did in the last year. I won't link to the video here because I have a strict no-linking-to-my-own-videos policy, but those of you that really want to find it will be able to.

The moment after I hit the publish button I suddenly remembered a bunch of things I did that didn't make it into the video. It always seems to happen that way. I'm going to list some of those things here, along with some things I came to learn in my 21st year of life while I was 20 years old.

-On my way home to Wisconsin after winter 2011 semester, I stopped in Iowa to spend the afternoon with my best friend, Kate. I don't mention Kate very often on this blog and that's totally uncalled for on account of how she plays a huge role in my life. We went to this cool little restaurant and had cashew butter sandwiches. They were extremely delicious. Seeing her was amazing since we only saw each other very briefly over Christmas break.

-I didn't get a haircut. The last time I got a haircut was August 2010. I'm most definitely due for one, though only a trim, since this year (junior year) is the first time in college my hair has been a length I really like.

-I had hypoxia in my, I think, right eye. Or was it my left? I don't recall at this point. Basically, my eye wasn't getting enough oxygen and I had to put in tons of eyedrops that were literally steroids and wear my glasses for a while. I would say the majority of people I've met at college have never seen me in my old glasses; there's a reason for that. Everyone knows me by my black nerdy glasses these days, so it might be hard to imagine me not liking my glasses but I just really did not like my old ones. Besides the fact that I had to wear glasses I didn't like, eye pain is some of the most horrible pain I've ever experien

-I learned a lot more about patience this past year. For as much I wanted letters during my sophomore year of school, the summer and fall semester of 2011 have taught me over and over again the reason I write letters at all, as has this semester thus far. Since my last birthday I was very lucky, getting letters from Jordan literally once a month. They were amazing letters too. I haven't gotten one from him in a while now, but whenever things seem to be going off-track, a letter from Matt finds its way to me.

-Speaking of Jordan and Matt, I learned even more how much they care about me. It's a lot. I wish I could convey more clearly how I feel about those boys and how they feel about me, but my relationships with them are quite inexplicable with words most of the time.

-I realized how much my relationship with Marcas still affects my decisions today, and how much it means when people hear the whole story. I know I haven't mentioned him in a quite some time in my writings here; I don't even know if he ever was mentioned by name on this blog, though I imagine he had to be. (I know at one point I moved a post about him over to my journal-blog). If you've heard the Marcas story in its entirety, know that it means you're a big deal. In Utah, I think 3 people know it. And only 1 person from home does.

-I found a lot of confidence in myself this past year, in so many ways. I guess I'll list a few things that I feel more sure about that I had not felt good about before: how I look, my dating life, the fact that I have a future and I really am good at writing. It's a pretty vague list, but the repercussions are felt every day on all three of those points.

-Watching The Office can cure all injury, physical or otherwise. Watching The Office with friends works even better.

-My version of "um" is most definitely "I don't know." In relaxed/philosophical conversation when I'm trying to explain myself, my answer first is (almost) always "I don't know," at which point I will then explain what I mean. I never noticed that before until fall semester; I say noticed but it was pointed out to me that I always say it. Besides it being my "um," it also kind of means I do actually know but don't want to completely explain myself, so I say that to stall a bit and think up the best way to say whatever it is that I don't want to say in a way that sounds legitimate. Sorry if you've had to experience any of those things; I know people get annoyed by it. I'm really trying to work on doing it less.

Last YouTube video I watched: Mario Bros. vs Wright Bros. Epic Rap Battle of History

The US Postal Service

There's much talk of the USPS shutting down because they have no cash money.

Um, what? Of all governmental organizations, the POSTAL SERVICE is going to die out?

Besides all the rational and business reasons why this is horrible, I need the postal service. Hand written letters are my only source of communication with some choice young men. If I can't send or receive mail, that really puts a damper on my social life.

I'm being a tad dramatic because the postal service isn't going to COMPLETELY stop working but lots of people are going to lose their jobs, plenty of post offices will be closing, and Saturday delivery is going to stop.

It already takes long enough for letters to get to and from places, so this whole situation really isn't helping.

In other news, I have come dangerously close to finishing my journalism application. Literally the only things left to do are double space an essay and print it out, and I have to take an entrance exam. I'm taking the exam tomorrow. It's going to cost me $2. They make you pay to take their test, which in theory could prevent you from giving them more money so you can be in their program. I feel like that's a little unfair but right now I'd rather be in the freakin' journalism program than make a fuss about two dollars.

Last YouTube video I watched: Google the Heimlich

The explanation blog

I believe it was in my first post of BEDA that I (very) briefly mentioned how next spring will "be a time of utmost happiness and wonder." And since I'm done with 2 of my 3 finals and my next one isn't until Wednesday, I figured I would take a little time to describe why I'm so excited about next spring.

As is pretty common with my life, we have to go back first to freshman year of college.

I met these really awesome guys last year. Some of them are my best friends, by far. They are the epitome of lovely. But here's the deal: in the LDS Church, when guys turn 19 they are strongly encouraged to serve a 2 year mission. They go to various places throughout the United States and the world, preaching the Gospel and testifying of Christ. They do so for 2 years straight. Their main form of communication with the outside world is the good ol' postal service. They e-mail with their families every week and call home on Mother's Day and Christmas.

Seeing as I'm not actually related to any of these awesome boys I met once upon a time, I really like writing/mailing/receiving/reading letters. I've spent more money on postage in the last year than I have in the rest of my life combined. It's pretty crazy.

I'm sure you'll remember at this point that I said the boys are gone for 2 years. After winter semester ended last year, basically all of the boys left some time in the summer months, meaning that they will all return about a year from now. Now, one of my favorite boys/closest friends was the first one to leave after winter semester; he was on his way to Scotland in like the second week of May. But guess what? That means he has just over a year left! Which means that at this time next year I will be FREAKING OUT over seeing one of my best friends after having not seen him in over 2 years; after having only talked to him through letters; after having to wait weeks for letters to come. And at the beginning of June my absolute best friend will be returning from Washington DC, so that's pretty dang exciting as well. I'm just really lucky that the two boys I want to see the most are both from Utah, enabling me to see them while I'm around for spring semester.

Yeah, that's right! I'll be at school next spring semester! Pretty much the only reason I'm staying is so I can see them. Why would I actually want to stay in Utah? To get an education? Pssht, I think not.

So yeah, I'm going to be the happiest I've pretty much ever been next spring. It's going to be awesome.

Last YouTube video I watched: Pacific vs. Atlantic

Package.

It's great enough when you get letters from people. Letters like this one, that I got today.

What's even better is that I didn't get JUST a letter. The letter came in this ginormous envelope.

What was inside the envelope, you ask? (Besides the epic three page letter . . .)

Pictures of my friend at the castle where they filmed Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

There was this awesome tartan piece of cloth that was wrapped around the best part of the package itself. It seemed really random at first.

But then I unwrapped the cloth . . . And I found this awesomeness . . .

THAT'S MY FAVORITE CANDY OF ALL TIME. And I've only ever had Wine Gums when I was in England, when my brother sent some to me from South Africa, and when my friend who lived in England all last summer brought some back for me. And now my boy Jordan sent me some from Scotland. AS A SURPRISE.

I wrote to him about Wine Gums MONTHS ago. I told him he'd have to check them out while he was over in Scotland. Apparently he didn't think they were all that great but he knew I liked them a lot so he sent them to me. I don't like using smiley faces in blogs. At all. Ever. So just know that when I opened the package and when I was writing this, I was smiling like crazy.

All that's left to do now is write back to him <3

Last YouTube video I watched: Hallelujah (Jeff Buckley) - 10thousandbirds (This girl is an amazing singer/guitar player/song writer)

The best healing

Letters. Letters are the best healing. How do I know? I currently have 2 of them sitting in front of me. I haven't opened them yet as I had to blog about it first.

One is from Texas. The other is from Scotland. I'm really excited about the second one.

Anyway, I feel like crap on account of how my elbow is throbbing and I can't straighten it all the way. My knee is screwed up and swollen and I can't straighten that either.

This letter from Scotland is going to heal it, though. I can already tell.

UPDATE!

I just read both letters. The Texas one was in Spanish, from my friend Tyler. It was nice to read Spanish again. It helps get me geared up for school.

The entire time I was reading my Scotland letter I just smiled and smiled. I didn't think about anything that was wrong. My knee didn't hurt, my elbow wasn't twitchy, my arms weren't sore. Happiness and laughter really do heal people. It's like in The Office when Michael says that Ryan's kindness healed his foot, but we found out he put extra-strength aspirin into Michael's pudding . . . But we're just going to pretend it was KINDNESS.